Dear Young Jedi,
Today the session I have with you is about appropriate use of The Force. It’s not particularly good to go around and willy-nilly, decide to use it on people in “lift & choke” fashion, as in the style of a certain dark user of the force, who shall remain nameless. Ok, Darth Vader…
No, look, it’s not about use of power, but all about the restraint. Holding it in when you want to strike out and to try and find a way to have a Disney ending to the villain in your life. It’s the thing where you get into an epic fight, but in the end, the villain is his own undoing – whether he falls into an open volcano, or into the jaws of an alligator, he does because he messed up, not because our hero did anything to them.
Mostly you should use the mental force of keeping your mind filled with: Recipes. I know you think that’s weird. Well, so is this mystical energy that we call Force. In order to keep that energy sustainable, we have to eat. And by eating I mean, the best Jedi foods that you can find.
In today’s webisode I talk about Jedi foods and unpack the idea that what you eat must be healthy, but also – if it happens to be in the shape of, or outright ‘look’ like a Star Wars character, it’s probably tasting and nutritious. You won’t believe what’s possible when you make Wookie Cookies.
Lastly, I know that People Magazine is where you go when you want the latest celebrity relationship and breakup news, but when you want the latest Star Wars dish, you know you have to watch my segment: Star Wars Clickbait. Sure it’s a bunch of carefully packaged lies merely created for your amusement, but then again, can’t we say the same thing about People Magazine?!
… And sometimes they even assume that we’re Blind. For example, this year, People's 2016 World's Most Beautiful Woman is Jennifer Anniston… I am only left to ask: Did you really sort through everyone? Do the good folks at People need bifocals? Not even the Jedi Force can help correct that assessment. Clearly the most beautiful female in the world is General Leia.
Live from My Underground Burrow,
Mortimer Weasel
Jedi Master & Master Chef
No comments:
Post a Comment
If you SPAM us, we will send puppet robots to get YOU!