Jedi Jabberwocky ~ Top 5 Strangest Star Wars Creatures, Jedi Training Camp

Dear Space Tadpoles,

I don’t want the whole #Twitterverse to come at me, ‘cause I made fun of the strangest five creatures in #StarWars. Honestly, I’m not known to be an insult comedian. More of a truth-teller. It’s important that satirists like myself be society’s padding against hypocrisy, because some are up in arms because I’m telling it like it is with Jedis.

Am I going off on a moral rant about how much I should be allowed to make fun of other people? Yes, and I’m arguing that: a lot. Don’t worry about them, they’re so loaded from the franchise’s revenue, that I’m sure Chewbacca can afford a therapist. Who cares about therapy when You could be the one controlling minds…?

And that’s why I started a Jedi Training Camp. I’m going to combine all of the alertness training of a weasel with the Jedi prep taken directed from Yoda… Well, a drunk Yoda, when he thought he was actually performing in a sitcom. Don’t ask me how he knows what they’re like.

But he transformed a large part of the forest into a broadcast studio, making the plants turn into seats and cleverly using the bog as itself. You know those always make great sitcoms. The one in which the place itself is the star: the bar in Cheers, the 30 Rock building in 30 Rock, and here, The Bog in The Yoda Show.

He pretended that he had a sitcom where he would teach a schmaltzy version of The Force. Kind of like a Jedi version of Dr. Phil, where he gave me crappy advice and assumed I had a lot more strength of character than I really have…

But I did pick up a few things and I thought to myself, why not put them out in webisode form. I know LosTiteres.TV is always starving for fresh material that bites other material just enough to call it comedy. I don’t know what to call these webisodes, except dear to my heart. In fact, so dear that I have sent them to George Lucas himself in the hopes that he can bless them.

Can you imagine if Lucas himself saw these little fantasy shorts of mine? … Oh, how he would most assuredly scoff, and then turn and jump into a big pile of his money! I know that’s what I do after watching Every One.

R-2 My D-2,
Mortimer Weasel
Jedi Wit Warrior