Fantastic Jedi Apprentice, How do you smell? And I’m not asking about whether you do it with your nose… I’m asking whether you smell good, or bad? …
You should know. You have to live with yourself. Well, you’ll be surprised to find that if you are unhappy with what you smell like, there are a panoply of new Star Wars themed fragrances that you could grab. Mortimer Weasel breaks down the latest scents. Perhaps you can decide you want to smell like meteors. It may be possible.
Plus, you’re not going to believe the dirt that this weasel has dug up! The latest info about all the space faring celebrities you love is reported in the most distorted way possible in Mortimer’s most popular segment, Star Wars Clickbait, where the latest news is made up and then fluffed up with a batch of fresh lies and hearsay.
And no, that’s not all, brace yourself for the wise words of Yoda, as we uncover the secrets he left lying around his bog. If you look carefully at the video, you’ll see that the paper Mortimer reads from is literally taped to his hand.
This is because the words contained on it are so powerful and magical, that the whole crew was concerned it would fly away, unless we strapped it down. And then it would be a film about Mortimer chasing a post-it note, and that wouldn’t be pretty.
So strap in and enjoy three minutes of a download straight into your brain concerning the amazing knowledge necessary for you to reach Jedi Awesomeness.
Soaring in A Meditative Pose,
Mortimer Weasel
Member of the Jedi Council E-mail List
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