Jedi Jabberwocky ~ Cut Your Monthly Bills in Half Using Jedi Mind Tricks

My Dear Friends & Weasels,

This week, I endeavored to try and decide what side of the force to be on Good side? Bad side? … Ugh, so tiring. But I did choose, and you’ll never believe it, I’m a good guy. Of course, let me confess, that’s coupled with my weasely ways, so don’t be too sure. One day, I may join the dark side, if only to experiment with being dastardly.

I called up the intergalactic phone company in this one, and I’m astounded to have to be the one to take notice, but Latinos are everywhere. This one had an accent thicker than Jabba the Hutt’s neck. She did bamboozle me, but that is because I have only but begun using The Force…

Pretty soon, I aspire to being able to use it to take eggs out from under chickens at night when they’re sitting in their coops! I will use it to burrow underground, by using my light saber to dig, thereby saving my sensitive paws! … And these personal motivations are what make me think there’s dark side in me. I’m arrogant, I don’t want to help others with the force. I have only intentions of helping myself.

And to that point, if I don’t get a freakin’ Award for this series then Quality is just something I don’t know. I have done investigating out the ying-yang for this. I’m so Jedied Out, I’ve decided to go commando.

Until we meet again, may La Fuerza be with you.

Yours in a Bog,
Mortimer Weasel
Apprentice Jedi