LosTiteres.TV's BRANDING PITCH!

Dear Spring Chickens and Business Class Passengers,

I can't tell you how hard I've been working here in Hollywood trying to get our little show sponsored by a corporation that will suck all the life out of it. Because really, otherwise, what's the fun? Life is a Mambo, you gotta shake it till you break it, because that's the only thing that you can take with you when you kick it: your dancing.

So, we gotta flap our wings and kick our feet around like a horny rooster, so everyone can see that we mean Business!... What we're looking for are the same people who create Super PACs for the candidates in this year's elections. People who are willing to invest in puppets.

So, with Conchita's Photoshop skills and Mary Juana's know-how on getting people hooked, we cobbled together a pitch to corporate sponsors on the value of branding a new cast of irreverent, funny Latino titeres with their product & some good financial backing.

What do I know? I'm only creating a show that has the potential to reach a massive Bilingual, Latino market that they say will decide this year's election...

Here's the order of the slides conceptually: WHO WE ARE & WHAT WE DO, OUR WEB PORTALS, OUR CREDENTIALS, THE CAST & SKETCHES, POTENTIAL HUGE HISPANIC/LATINO OUTREACH POTENTIAL, making LosTiteres.TV a BRANDED 1/2 HOUR TV SHOW ON THE WEB.

Sometimes with the small Google player, it messes up the text, but "cheep" isn't just the first thing that came out of my mouth when I came out of the egg -- I just don't like spending money. And Google es GRATIS!

You can check it out without the "out of whack" text positioning here: https://docs.google.com/present/view?id=dcfn9jjv_21fjbkxvz3

Big as Google is, you'd think they'd work out those kinks in their small embed players. The programming is older than when Susan Lucci was a schoolgirl.

If you're an interested investor, you can click here to on CONTACT US... Write us -- unless our receptionist, Mortimer Weasel, is on vacation, he should get right back to you.

If it's Chiquita Banana that wants to sponsor this show, I think Conchita is going to faint with delight! ...

Producing this THING,
Señor Loro
Parrot Host and Grief Counselor

"This is What I Do" and The "Shit We Say"... to your MEMES

Following popular online memes, we have created several of our own versions...

Take for instance, the I AM A... meme... Here's one for "I AM A DIRECTOR":

Here's "I AM AN ACTOR":

Here's our response:

I'm sure many of you have seen the "SHIT GIRLS SAY" videos:



Here's our response with the "SHIT PUPPETS SAY":




We're so topical & current, we hardly have time to be CLASSIC!

Yours in Tweets,
Señor Loro
Parrot Puppet Host, LosTiteres.TV!

Señor Loro guest stars on Day 7 of Grant Baciocco's Advent Calendar

Dear Festive Holidays Amigos,

I was very excited and pleased to be invited as Grant Baciocco's webcast guest star of his 2011 Advent Calendar.

Grant is an award winning podcaster who has been featured in many magazines and online for his famous children's show, The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd!

We met Grant at the Jim Henson Studios in Hollywood, California and have continued to be pals with him since then because not only is he an exceptionally nice guy, he's also a producer of puppet programming.

Be sure to become his Twitter friend at: @ToasterBoy, and you'll find out about his many projects! We expect more big things will come from this great talent!

For now, we were very excited to be on the show, and hope to be invited back next year, although I don't know if my laughing during sad movies is really politically correct...?

Then again, when have you known me to be a politically correct Polly?

Look, all I want is a cracker.

Hugs for the Holidays,
Señor Loro
Proud Guest Star of Grant Baciocco's Advent Calendar

Señor Loro announces the new iPhone app for LosTiteres.TV!

“I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!” ~ a funny fantasy film con titeres, directed & edited by Felix Pire

Dear Locos,

We're gonna give you a Woody ... Allen.

As you all know, this film has been in the works up in here at LosTiteres.TV studios for the past year, and with the opening of The Muppets movie, we thought we'd give you the edgy alternative and cough up something that might have been written by Woody Allen.

This screenplay came up through friends at the New York Film Academy, which is ironically on the Universal Studios lot, across from Warner Brothers studios in Burbank, California.

Who knew that the studios there would be so scrunched up together as to be practically across the street? There are more studios in Hollywood than Starbucks.

With the help of a few of our friends and Dr. Stan Monsterberg and Francine, two puppets who've become adjunct members of our comedy company of schmactors (I just coined that, it means "Schmaltzy Actors").

We also cast some humans as central to the storyline, and they were spectacularly funny. They are sort of the anti-"Gary & Mary", if you saw the last Muppets movie.

"I Almost Married a Monster!" is a parable about love and relationships, told through four questionable characters who act like MoNsTerS!

The film made its onscreen debut at Warner Brothers Studios. We brought on some "no-name" director-editor people have scoffed at, Felix Pire (yes, our producer) -- but hell, he delivered it on time and under budget.

TIP: The end credits are worth the wait!

Happy Winter!
Señor Loro
Foul Fowl-in-Chief

We'll Be Right Back!

"METRO KID" WINS HONORABLE MENTION at the 2011 Transit Flicks Competition!

Hola Mis Votadores! ... Hello, MY VOTERS!

You will not believe this smack -- WE WON! Yes, we did!

Gracias! ... MUCHAS GRACIAS to all of you who voted for us!

And for those of you who decided to vote for other flicks, may the Lord do what he will with you! ...  I would have you plucked and dipped in the blood of former cast members of the Latino musical, In The Heights. But that's just me, I'm extravagant.

Finally, we make a puppet movie that serves the viewer, and it wins a festival! Go figure.

Unlike the self-involved programming we've been providing, "METRO KID" is a lovely commercial for the Hollywood area's transit system, and it proves that once again ~ titeres are where it's at! 

Mortimer Weasel explains the delights of watching the news on the bus.

Entiendes? Puppets, especially Spanish and bilingual ones, with a productive message is what is going to propel this brand forward!

Yet, I got my marketing training from a puppet pidgeon who's still active on MySpace... He might be a little behind the trend.

But look at us! Honorable Mention! ... I mean, what I expected was:

"Who's this parrot with a mustache? Where did he come from? -- SECURITY!"

And then a bunch of people would have hauled me out of there with my flick on my flip drive.

Señor Loro at his desk, LosTiteres.TV Studios

Now, what do we win...? Turns out, the winner gets an All-You-Can-Bus Pass for the month of November, 2011.

And that, my friends, is called: The Bigtime...

Totalling the amount of bus travel I do on a daily basis in Hollywood -- (and it's highly glamarous to ride the busses around here, may I add, everyone always stops and stares when you get out of one)  -- it's a good $64 dollars worth.

Why don't you fly, you ask? ... Why don't you stop stereotyping me? 

Y también, I would like to add, that if I were TU, I'd be very excited!

We have some earth revolutionizing stuff coming up in November, if by "revolucionando el mundo",  I mean:

Fresh LosTiteres.TV mayhem with Naked Bob, Mary Juana, Conchita, Mortimer Weasel!

Stan Monsterberg, star of I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!

Plus, another 1/2 hour episode, featuring a new short film, called I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!, which made its debut on a screen at Warner Brothers movie studio in Burbank, California!

So, stick around, we'll be right back...

Señor Loro
Producer of the Award Winning Film, "Metro Kid"
LosTiteres.TV Studios
Felix Pire Bldg, 2nd Fl, Nest #201