"Conchita's Shout Outs" & Schmedley Part 2

Hello, mis amigos and welcome back to the show. Thanks for waiting for a month.

This month we're going to pack in some great programming.

As far as the production, things are going as planned. We planned that no one would be watching... And we also planned that this show would never be canceled because it's produced with the nickles and dimes that the producer steals at from the water fountain in front of Macy's at the mall.

Sure enough, though, we're probably doing something to offend someone in people-land.



Here is the second part of the Schmedley Schparky Schow where he finally let's that silly dog have his say... As Fidel Castro's former pet parrot, I am very worried for Schmedley's dictatorial leanings -- but I'm going with it for now, because, well, his chocolate company is quite possibly a cash cow.



Saludos to Sesame Street on its 40th birthday!

I, myself, am very interested in one day getting an opportunity to interview Big Bird, and get the exclusive on what caused him to stay 6 years old forever -- always acting like he just learned the alphabet yesterday. I mean, by 40, he should have a job.

These child stars always come out of the shell a little cracked, enh?

Happy Martinis!
Señor Loro
LosTiteres.TV Studios
(Blogging from the Port-o-Potty
behind the gay club "TWIST",
South Beach, Florida)

The Schmedley Schparky Schow!

Hello my quieridos amigos!

We have come back for a second season of excitement, and laughter on LosTiteres.TV.

Since the downturn in the economy, the show's been in the toilet.

That's why you've waited so long for a webisode? Our producer, Felix Pire, who produces this crap out of pocket, because he says, "he believes in the show" has been out of work.

It's a cheap show to produce. I sold it to him one brisk Miami evening over drinks. I said, "With just nickels and dimes, we give you entertainment that's at least worth about three pesos in Mexico." And he was sold. It's true.

More to the point, puppet productions are cheap, that's how come one sole producer can fund us. Plus, Conchita is getting cheaper. She tried to get into Telemundo, they told her she "wasn't Latina enough".

Look, it's economic savvy on your part as a viewer to watch our mess, because you're getting more wasting of time entertainment, with something that costs less. Let's just put it this way, we've been able to amuse you with the internet budget equivalent of close ups of hand shadows on toilet paper.

So we're very excited to present a new segment to the show, with a new sponsor!

Please enjoy, as I, Señor Loro and LosTiteres.TV proudly present:



Are you surprised that we auspiciously return on the first day of October, one year exactly since 2008?

Are you mesmerized by my ping pong ball eyes, and want more?

Not to worry, LosTiteres.TV will be coming out bi-weekly. Why? Because we like to say "bi". It's naughty.

In a coupla weeks, brace yourself: Conchita returns with a new species of her Conchita Chow -- this time, she's giving ironic shout-outs to people.

Also, we've got more Mary Juana, a new guy we just hired -- yellow guy from another one of those weird puppet nebulas, and more El Amor De Conchita Y Ronaldo, your favorite telenovela.

We hope you like this new season. Ever since Schmedley started to pitch in coin from his schocolate company, the webisodes have gotten better, but we worry he'll want to put ads for his schocolates everywhere.

These are the preoccupations of a web producing parrot, my dear, sexy audience!

Stay Tuned for more:

LosTiteres.TV!

Signed,
Señor Loro
Parrot Producer & Host

Hola Again, Happy Halloween, and Adios to Hispanic Heratige Month!

You scared yet this Halloween? Get ready 'cause: we're back!

Naw, really, though -- we're back.

None of those small pitch reels, or silly PSAs.

The stuff you've been demanding: More websiodes of EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO, more NAKED BOB, and more MARIJUANA.

And for those of you who know the show, you are all very addicted.

Stop sending me Harry Potter owls with little envelopes that yell at me when I open them!

Real webisodes are forthcoming. Like the old stuff you used to like with Conchita and Ronaldo insulting the dignity off each other, and some other new junk.

Of course, in this opening sequence, we feature Schmeldey Schparky, a new addition to the show! He's so wealthy from his chocolate empire, he could get us out of our economic crunch right now if he felt like it. But he's twelve, has one of those pre-teenager "asshol-itudes".

Luckily, in exchange for infomercial airtime, has sponsored most of our other webisodes. And, of course, we've sold out to him... He doesn't read, thank God, or I would never write this.

He owns Schmedley Schparky Schocolates, and along with his dog Scrappy, he serves up his own brand of fatty, chocolatey (slightly nutty) goodness. You just can't WAIT for his show, I assure you.


Be on the lookout for his new webisodes with his dog Scrappy!

Watching shows on television (which is where we know ours will end up, I'm sure), we noticed that there were a lot of shows with an opening theme songs -- and puppets LOVE theme songs.

Now, we've had one for a while, but this time we decided to produce the entire musical number with everyone involved! It was madness in the studio. Those two Gay Maracas act like crazy monkeys, and Conchita is impossible when she's had a few drinks, and the mouthwash in hers and everyone else's dressing room.

In this very musical sequence, she's drunk out of her mind. Schmedley had to hold her by the arm to keep her on screen. Right after that shot, she threw up all over the camera man. Too bad we didn't get a shot of that.

So expect another season of puppet melodrama, outrageous language and openly gay mayhem! No, wait, you can see that in this very opening number!

Most of you are petrified right now, knowing that the ridiculous show with the cussing puppets and the outrageous backstage dish is back, and it is, mis amigos, it is!

Nothing has terrified us more than leaving our fans in the dust -- and then kicking them in the privates repeatedly with each passing month of no LosTiteres.TV.

And that is why we're back with more, to stop the crotch-kicking. We're back with: BIGGER, BETTER, felt-ier EXTRAVAGANZAS of puppets and dazzling 1960's we-can-still-see-a-halo-of-green-or-blue chromakey!

Please remember to read the credits at the end, so you can see what a wide variety of wonderful artists contributed to the building and performing of the show!

We have also mailed a SPECIAL THANKS, a MOJITO and a FREE (at your own risk) *BLOW JOB CERTIFICATE* from Conchita to our friends at:

Swazzle.com & ProjectPuppet.com for their continued support!

Pretty soon we will grant them honorary Latino-hood.

BOO...with Love,
Señor Loro
Parrot Host, LosTiteres.TV

*(BLOW JOB CERTFICATE - certain restrictions may apply.)

LosTiteres.TV SIZZLE REEL!

Third world puppets with a fourth grade education doing sixth grade comedy. The outrageous Señor Loro, Fidel Castro's ex-parrot, brings you an adult variety show on the web! Meet the wacky characters of LosTiteres.TV, and then go and explore their full webisodes on the site. And be careful -- marijuana plants talk.

Señor Loro

Me Not Math - PSA

Look, if you like math, that's fine, I guess. But I don't think that you should do math all the time. Math should be something you only do recreationally -- or it could turn into a problem.

Stay Safe -- stay away from Algebra. Any math system where you add and subtract letters of the alphabet scares the red feathers off of me... Even though Algebra sounds like a word in Spanish -- it's not as much fun as it sounds.

Señor Loro

Mario Mariposa: In-Depth Gay Maracas Interview

Mis amigos and my friends, there is journalism, and then there is the deeply penetrating analysis, brought to you by an insect that used to be a lowly make-up artist at the studios, but who is now one of our top reporters. Mario Mariposa is created a deeply respected name for himself.

Many of you have written in talking smack about us not being liberal enough about our outlook, that we HATE Fidel Castro, because he still has many years ahead of him in politics. To that, I say PAPI-COCK. Notice the spelling. I'm naughty. But I really meant, "Poppycock"... I'm so Americanized... So we decided to be socially liberal instead:

Two gay maracas are the ultimate in open mindedness, and notice how LosTiteres.TV delicately traces the edges of taste and forbidden love with this in-depth interview of two illegal musical instruments.

It's too forbidden -- you have to see it for yourself!

PAPI COCK!
Señor Loro
Independent Candidate
in this Year's Puppet Elections

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 5)

From all of us at LosTiteres.TV...

We wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!



Saludos from South Beach!

Señor Loro ... and Enrique