Monday, December 31, 2012

Mortimer Weasel’s Post-Christmas Holiday Specials





Why, hello, I'm Mortimer weasel, and this is my "Holiday Special" Blog report!

Here you have my latest videos:

A 2-PART HOLIDAY SPECIAL, including my personal memories, a puppet show, some singing, and a wrap-up/round-up of all the funny and interesting Christmas Holiday Memes around the web this year!



And finally, I reluctantly submit to you a BLOOPERS REEL... Please don't hate me for it, I just like working with professionals and have no time for unnecessary frivolity and/or laughter on the set!



This year, Señor Loro asked me to come out of my hole and do something special, something Christmas Season-y and literary and worth reading for his supposed “backstage” blog.

I have so much in store for you! 

First a HOLIDAY PRESENT!

Señor Loro at LosTiteres.TV thought he'd act like the cheap uncle this year and give you a hug; it's one size fits all and refundable. 

Then I thought about all our creative friends and that everyone is gifted ~ except some people never open their package. 

So I got crafty (I'm very good at origami and things that necesitate nimble fingers) and we made you a ... A DOWNLOADABLE, SPECIAL, ONE OF A KIND, COLLECTIBLE ORNAMENT from LosTiteres.TV! ... 

De Nada and Feliz Navidad!

Just print it out and cut it out, and paste it together! 

I’ve assembled ming using my bodily fluids as a gluing agent and my claws for the origami -- it's a work of art so original, it hardly has anything in common with itself.

When finished and hanging on the holiday tree, its sensibilities combine the soothing charm of John Denver, somehow coupled with the awkward, cheap sarcasm of a bad sketch on Saturday Night Live.

Print out the .pdf file above (the one below's just a .jpeg image), so you can see what it really looks like, pimped out.



More than likely, I’ve created something here worth making into a trending Twitter link? 

Let's call it: "Your Low-Hanging Latino Holiday Tree Ball" ~ that might get it a notice? 

I have high hopes for these CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Let's hope they become videos so virulently viral, that even bacteria will watch it on YouTube! I wanna leave "Gangnam Style" dance craze, and the cute babies laughing, and the kid drugged up from the dentist in the car -- all of them -- I wanna leave them in the dust!

Meanwhile, here's how it all came about: The BACKSTAGE STORY...

God knows there is no formal backstage at the LosTiteres.TV Studios, because if you really put all these puppets in one backstage greenroom, it would at once turn into a fiesta, then a circus, and finally we’d entertain ourselves to death.

Instead, everyone's formulated their miniature offices within the confines of this giant, magical studio Señor Loro has created. 

If you ask me, I think he's into the Cuban Santería, and he's had some magic man bewitch the place, for inside Conchita's Trailer, or Ronaldo's Office, or Schmedley's Giant Playroom, all sorted out in clever ways inside of a giant soundstage ... it's always much larger inside their dwellings than it appears on the outside.

I really don’t know what Señor Loro reports in his blog outside of the strange happenings in his own psyche, but I thought I'd paint a broader picture... 

Most of the time there are people walking around the outside of the studio, real people, dying to get in to see a show. They're also trying to be guest stars on the show. You wouldn't believe it, but the market is inundated with human actors!

They all want to be on a spot and work with Los Titeres, they say... But they're too famous, Señor Loro says. When Angelina Jolie begged last week to be on with Brad, just for an online ratings boost, when Leonardo DiCaprio begged to do a couple of song and dance numbers with Schmedley, and when Lady Gaga called about a duet with Conchita ~ Loro turned them all down.

"I don't want no famous, name actors with all the desperate, rich financiers that want to finance everything they want! WE are the ones that are famous just like this, with no money! ... We want fresh, recognizable faces, like the ex-con that you saw in the paper, or the old lady who works as your maid!" and then Señor Loro, unexpectedly gets an itch under his wing and spends a good 15 minutes scratching.

And I'm standing right there. It's as if his mind just "blipped", short circuited. I have to agree with the assertion that birds come from dinosaurs and all that -- they also have an attention span just north of a knat.

I’ve never actually read Señor Loro's blog, but I’m sure it’s fascinating, with anecdotes about his early childhood, learning to squawk... and pecking his way out of an egg.




When I think of things coming out of eggs, I honestly think of brunch. 

 All my weasel instincts notwithstanding, “A wrap-up”, I suggested to the red parrot, as I burst into his private office, which is fashioned like a wooden parrot cage, lots of brown colors, books, one of those old sepia globes, plus an old typewriter.

 “I propose a series where we do a little countdown of all our YouTube Holiday Videos!” I announce.

He looks up at me from his perch at a desk, from under his bifocals. Those giant ping pong eyes roll up at me: “That assumes they have some value.”

“I think ours are terrible webisodes, but if forced, and for some payment, I wouldn’t mind making a 2-PART HOLIDAY SPECIAL, plus a BLOOPER REEL, and then writing your blog for you and putting the horrid videos you do have in some kind of comprehensive order,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

See, the bird is an innate contrarian. Anything you say, he’ll find a "Cuban saying" that justifies why he should be against it.

“What kind of payment?”, he says into the air, as he looks over some graphs & papers, with his monocle on.

“How about two dead rats and a garden snake?”

“Did you come in here to break my huevos?,” he rolls his eyes and his monocle drops. He shudders, like birds do, and a few feathers fly off and spin around in the warm light coming in through the windows... It's actually a stage light with a yellowish gel behind his fake window inside the soundstage.

He starts moving towards me and I reflexively step back.

“Fine! … Money then! Give me that grubby paper money!... Disgusting that I have to touch it. Write me a check.”

“Seventy-five cents for a blog entry, maybe I can get you a dead jelly fish and a ticket to the: Get The Hell Outta My Officina Express?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” and I immediately weaseled myself outta there... 

Passed several “titeres” in the hallway that knew I’d been in that office. They offered me some faux sympathy in their eyes... 

Yet I can’t be sure of that, because their eyes reflect light in all sorts of odd ways, given the fact that they’re made of plastic, and sometimes they're just wall eyed or cross eyed for no reason.

THE THIRD SEASON OF OUR MESS

With the coming of the HOLIDAY SEASON, Señor Loro took it upon himself to declare that we have now entered SEASON TRES online! … 

I have researched carefully how many webisodes it takes to make a season, and there’s no given standard, so I’ll be forced to believe him, he knows how to count his eggs. 

During the holiday season one should strive to see the best in others, although by his accounting for our webisode show, I can tell one certain thing: 

We will be falling off our own personal LosTiteres.TV "fiscal cliff"... 

But, Señor Loro is like the The Honey Badger, he don't give a shit! He owns a summer nest on the Fiscal Cliff.




In Señor Loro I see one of the best entrepreneurs I’ve known since I met Joan Rivers, when I got my face done and wanted a plastic surgeon who could do justice to the face of a weasel. 

Like Joan, my dear Señor Loro’s one of those artists that keeps on performing live shows, never takes no for an answer, and given the chance, would sell you a shitload of merchandise on QVC. 

Here he is in what he called Señor Loro’s Holiday Fandango... 

(You’ll find out about how "down" the economy is ending up in 2012 at the end of the webisode.)




Señor Loro will show up to the opening of an envelope, as long as he considers that envelope being opened by a great artist. 

Grant Baccioco is such an artist, and being invited to be on his yearly Advent Calendar was the highlight of Señor Loro’s year. 

 Most of the year, that red parrot spent moulting... so by the time he shot this, his feathers had grown back. 

With patches of feathers missing here and there and that crazy eyed look he gets in his eyes when he’s moulting, he reminded me of a young Woody Allen.

Grant's Advent Calendar 2011 Video Podcast -- Day #007



Alfonso is one of our resident rodents, and we don’t want to say he’s a deadbeat dad, but let’s just say he hasn’t paid for child support since 1985. 

I don’t know, but I suppose studying law like he did, he must have found loopholes in the law to get him out of those scrapes.

Let’s face it, Alornso may be tough on the outside, but down deep, he’s a romantic and a lover. 

One of my favorite videos of the past few years, is one that shows Alfonso’s heart. This one he made especially for his wife, or ex-wife, or ex-wives, and kids.

 Alfonso's Christmas Message to Martha & The Kids



Alfonso ended up moving into the building and then slowly found himself working as an attorney for Señor Loro, who is very proud of it. 

When I’ve asked Loro about it, he’s always said, “Who better to be your lawyer than a dirty rat?... This guy’s a dirty rat with a heart,” he intoned. I can only hope he’s right.

At the start of another winter season, another intro sequence was shot with Señor Loro hosting and talking about his past life under Fidel Castro’s rule as his own, personal pet parrot. 

 I, for one, was raised in New York, New England, New Delhi, New Orleans. 

Only places that are new, because I have an unending curiosity for novelty, and that’s why I am part of this show with Latino puppets. 

Because they’re unique and rare on screen, although there’s enough of them that they decided the last election. The irony of that baffles the mind.

If you’re wondering how Latino I am, I will confess to you that my mother is Chilean and my father is from Guatemala. 

How I turned up with a semi-British, upper class accent is purely from non-stop watching of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard on Star Trek. 

 Enough about me, I present to you, another Christmas moment from the opening monologue segment of our show. By the way, in it, that image of Fidel Castro is nude, not naked.

 Season's Greetings with Señor Loro & Alfonso.



Finally, not too long ago, we ranged up enough “titeres” and puppeteers (which is what we call our ‘tech crew’, they come in handy) to create a holiday song. 

We wanted it to reflect our snarky feelings about this time of year, all the while with a touch of buoyancy and class. I was not asked to be in this thing, although I support it whole heartedly.

I mean, I shouldn’t get personal about these things, but really, I’m a cast member here. 

Only common decency should dictate that I, at least, get the “first right of refusal”. 

But no... That’s because Señor Loro refuses to make this a union business!

If we were being looked over by the Screen Actor’s Guild (SAG) or the American Federation of Radio and Television Artists (AFTRA), none of these shenanigans would be going down! 

… I DEMAND TO BE NOTICED and NON-TRADITIONALLY CAST! 

Why must I always play a middle-aged “stuffy” weasel? 

I can get down in the dirt like the best of weasels... 

You know, I’m sorry... There’s no need to have gone into that tirade simply to show you a silly YouTube video. 

Here's wishing you and yours many "dead rats and snakes" in your stockings as you wish and a Merry Holiday season, as well as a Happy New Year!

"HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS" - LosTiteres.TV Puppet Christmas

 

Warmest Regards 
from The Underground Sanctuary of,
Mortimer Weasel 
Peabody Award Winning Reporter 
Oscar Nominee for Best Documentary: 
“The Mating Habits of The Nocturnal Australian Weasel”




Saturday, December 15, 2012

Señor Loro's Holiday Fandango Christmas y Hanukkah Special




Hola, Mis Amigos! ... Hello, My Friends!

YYYYyyyy  welcome to the third season of LosTiteres.TV! ... I don't even know what that means -- except that we've cranked out something like 48 shows already! Thank you... Now, I wish we were on TV. But we're making huge strides!


This year someone in Hollywood that Conchita knows said they'd "look at it". In Hollywood-speak, it means that they will be so enamoured by the project and all that we've done on the web, that they'll pull out giant wads of American dollars and give it to us to produce our show!


Of course, there is also the cynical opposite view. Mortimer Weasel, cynic that he is told me, "I"ll look at it" means "Up yours. Get lost!" But I refuse to believe that.


I'm an immigrant! I made a journey all the way from Cuba to the United States on a small styrofoam cup ship I cobbled together out of twigs and used my own feces as a gluing agent.


I didn't fly because my wings were tired. Which is the first thing I said when I did stand up for the first time on South Beach when I arrived: "I just flew here from Cuba, escaping clutches of an evil dictator, and boy are my wings tired." And for some strange reason, Manolito, who plays the drums, musically said: "Pa Dump-Pump, Chhhh!"


Okay, so HAPPY HOLIDAYS to Everyone! ... Yes!


Ah, the holidays... A time when you have to buy things for people to prove that you love them. Since titeres are generally not very wealthy, we usually give simple stuff. I recite poems and sometimes give colorings from my Crank Yankers coloring book.


We recently, once again, worked as Santa's Little Helpers at The Huntington Library this year... I don't know how those elves do it! We almost melted, literally. If it wasn't for Santa's magic, we'd be puddles of plastic on the floor!


Pero bueno, I will not be flying to Cuba this year to see the family. Sadly, I have to stay in Hollywood and work.


I thought I had it bad having to give up seeing the folks, and then I realized -- there are people out there who don't even have jobs. I need to be more grateful to have one, even if I'm only paid in seeds. And so I was thankful.


But then the Fandango puppets walked up in the middle of the stage, and I was outraged at how difficult my job just got!


Not only were they unemployed and soliciting work -- but who let them into the studio.


We recently hired some chick named Mary Juana as our Security Guard, but she spends a lot of time eating brownies and much less actually guarding the gate.


How could she not see a slew of paper bags just walk past the gate into the studio? She later said she thought they were just being blown in by the wind.


With so much unemployment in 2012, my heart softened, and it's all embarrassingly in this video we're posting, called HOLIDAY FANDANGO.


We hope you're safe and happy this Christmas, and gracias to the Mayans and their prediction, that you have a lovely end of the world!


May it be explosive, and most importantly full of love!


Feliz Navidad y Prospero Año y Felicidad!


Señor Loro

Commander-in-Chief at LosTiteres.TV
A TV show con Latino Puppets, which is only on the web.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Happy San Giving



We in the Latino world have always found the pronunciation of this holiday a bit awkward, because the sound of the word "thanks", reminds us of our word for "saint".

So if you find Latinos around you saying Happy San Giving, it's not that we've created a new Saint of Giving, but that it's the quickest way our tongues have around the problem.

Either way, Thanksgiving or San Giving means good things... except for turkeys!

Peace and Love,
Señor Loro

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Binders Full of Women



My Fellow Americanos ~

In a recent debate, Mitt Romney said that when trying to staff his cabinet as governor in the state of Massachusetts, he looked to put women into the mix, and upon his request (perhaps, because he didn't personally know any women), they handed him a "binder full of women" from which to choose.

Now, I get handed a binder full of puppets daily... Today I got one from Mortimer Weasel, along with some kind of Valium pill, he subtly keeps placed in a Judy Garland Pez Dispenser.

Of course, my puppets are Titeres, not Muppets, as I display in the meme picture my presidential campaign has put out. I put them there to make a point.

We're all in this together. That's why I want to fly to the Million Muppet March happening in D.C. this November 3rd. But god knows at my age, the wings are not what they used to be -- and if you expect me to fly coach, olvidalo -- for-get it.

They don't have nearly enough overhead storage on planes these days. I'd take an automobile, but I'm afraid of passing one of those "trucks full of chickens" that you always see in the movies.

Then, I'll just feel sorry for them, and it'll bust up my high... I'd try a bike, but for that I'd walk, which brings me back to -- never mind. I'll stay on my nest, but send positive vibes and blog all about it.

Last week, I got a binder, and looked inside. Full of puppet resumes... Ugh... And that Valium pill just hit me making me partially nauseated and dizzy.

There was ALF. Although his feature film just got greenlit, let's hope they don't give him E.T.'s treatment: No Sequels. Yes, you'll make a bundle, but outside of posing for pictures with Michael Jackson, you'll never see him again.

Yoda is desperate -- since CGI Yoda has taken over the movies, the puppet version is dying for something. But what can you put him in? A section about the swamps of Boca Raton? I mean, really.

The guy does magic tricks, and is heavy into that weird Jedi cult... He could hurt somebody with that light saber, and mostly, I won't hire him because he smells like a bog.

No, no, really, these are the people that apply.

Then, there's the Snuggle bear, who has plenty of experience on television. No web series to speak of. And the web is where it's at. Not that old Flicker thing in the theatre and the Boob Tube!

Snuggle's resume says he's a part of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, and the National Theatre of London -- mailing lists... Which is impressive.

But he's impossible -- thinks himself high and mighty, just 'cause he smells fresh and prevents static cling. We've got plenty of puppets trying to pitch things around here to have one more who's clinging to his fame for dear life.

Look, he sold his soul out to that self-named product, and now, I doubt highly that the audience will see him as anyone else.

And then BOOM!



Right through my door, waltz a bunch of paper bags, and I don't mean blown in by the WIND, I mean, deliberately puppet spirited, roughly multi-featured faced creatures which smelled of movie theatres and broken dreams. Fuck! ... It was the Fandango puppets.

What the hell do they want with me...?

They've fallen out of style with the movie theatres and now they're descending on Me!

Once they start in on me, I have to remind them that they sold their souls to that Ad Campaign for Fandango. One of 'em's like.

"Why does that mean we can't to nothin' else?"

"Because they own you. You signed a contract," I respond as reasonably as I can.

"You're prejudiced against recycled paper bags. You're anti-Green!"

I"m like: "Well go tell it to Kermit the Frog. I couldn't give a Culo Raton."

So they beg and they plead, and in this little office filled with books and knick-knacks, I begin to become overwhelmed, and I start hypervenilating.

Most embarrassingly, I grabbed their leader at one given point and put him to my beak -- to help with the hyperventilation.

In a clump, they all "oohed"... I don't know what that meant... I suppose it was a big violation, because that paper bag was ready to explode!

"You give us jobs in this shitty web series, or we're going to find a way to bring your operation down, Señor Loco!"

"That's Loro -- and you know what? Go ahead. Try to bring us down. We will fall like a deck of cards. Because I'm a weak leader who not only leads from behind, I also follow from behind and stomp on your behind. I'm trying to run a show here, like the great Ricky Ricardo -- inventing the sitcom no less!... I'm only trying to do a funny, satirical show with an edgy sense of parody, is that something you're against?.... How many puppet shows have lasted this long on the internet? Since 2007! Not many. We have out lived, Brad Pitt & Jen's relationship, through various incarnations of Britney Spears, and now you think you can put a stop to my show because I won't put you on it?"

"Yeah..." says the one in the old lady get up within the mob.

"Look, people, I'm bi-sack-tual... When they ask me if I wan't paper or plastic, I don't care, I'll take either. It's nothing personal. But right now, I'm sure you guys are legally bound to Fandango. Is one of you paper bags a lawyer?"

"No," says the paper lag leader, dressed like a Mexican Wrestler.

"Well then I suggest, you rethink this tactic."

I get up and start walking the few short steps towards the doors to my office. Conchita is supposed to be my secretary and be on guard, and now God knows where she went.

"Are you sure there's nothing?"

"No, I'm so sorry everyone..."

Rumble, rumble... and they reluctantly edge towards the exit...



"I am not insulted that you used me to breathe. I understand."

"No hard feelings... I'm glad you guys are so civilized."

And then a giant regurgitation we birds get, stimulated by the Valium pill up-chucked inside me -- and out of reflex, I reached out for help and I regurgitated, let's say inside the guy dressed in the miniature paper business suit and hat with the macaroni hair...

It was a disaster...

So I offered them all jobs, and they accepted, and then the turned me down when they found out it wasn't on camera, but to sit upside down in all the studio and help collect the trash.

I took a look around at the United Nations of paper puppets standing before me and I said:

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! So now when I offer you a job, you don't wanna get yourselves dirty?! IT'S A DIRTY BUSINESS, SHOW BUSINESS!"

And I think I scared them the hell outta show business, because it's been a few hours and they haven't come back...

I need A FREE Round-trip Ticket and accommodations to Washington D.C. to be a part of the Million Muppet March in favor of PBS.

Because although I'm not a Muppet, I'm sure they're distant cousins to us Titeres...

And I don't want you to think that I was against the brown paper bag puppets because they didn't have arms, or rods to move the ones they had.

I don't oppose using them because their paper is made brown, or that they're ugly as shit -- most importantly, I use them sparingly in our webisodes, because I don't like to tell it to their faces, quite frankly, they're highly flammable.

Binders Full of Puppet Love,

Señor Loro
Puppet Party Candidate for President of the United States
Host of the web series, LosTiteres.TV and
Señor Loro's Stand Up Extravaganza!









Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Señor Loro for PRESIDENT ~ An Historic Latino Puppet Candidate



Señor Loro's Presidential Platform

Dear Voters, this is the random stuff I stand for.

I don't believe in American Exceptionalism. If you speak three languages you’re trilingual. Two, bilingual. One: American....

You're in America now, I mean really -- learn how to speak Spanish.

This is the land of hopes, dreams, and the 5 Dollar Footlong @ Subway!

Don’t get me started on Congressional Corruption: Our only real renewable resource.

The public is very fickle, that’s what I said to my cab driver, George Bush, the other day.

I’m not saying the Republicans are heartless, but Ronald Reagan was once quoted to have said: “Money can’t buy happiness, but it will certainly get you a better class of memories.” WINK WINK... I would wink twice if I could, but my eyes are made of ping-pong balls.

I am getting rid of the police department, because in my America, they will not be necessary. If you want to combat crime, don’t vote for criminals... VOTE for Señor Loro, Latino Puppet Candidate.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him compromise. I’m willing to compromise on anything.

The liberals this year are so Liberal, they want everyone with rights -- don’t wanna kill anyone -- I think I heard Kerry say he wanted to rehabilitate the germs that cause bad breath.

I wanna do one of those speech things where I repeat a phrase: I’m a Puppet and I admit it! … But I was torn between that and: “Vote for Me, You Could do Worse -- and Always Have!"

Frankly, my biggest concern about this year’s election is that someone will win.

People think being a puppet is easy, but I’ve had my share of tough times, just like the Romney’s have...

I was born from swaths of material made in China, some felt from Nicaragua, a pingpong ball from Korea. Mentally conceived in the womb and designed by some Cuban-American dude, sewn together by a Jewish, Israeli dude in New York. Then, stuffed into a box inside of a plastic bag, mailed to Hollywood, roughly the same thing happens to Joan Rivers.

I know what it is to be an immigrant coming to L.A. looking for work, or at least pieces of me do. And that’s why you relate to me... Everyone Relates to me...

If I become president, the only wars there will be -- will be Tweetter Wars... We’ll just talk shit about other countries.

Replace Medicare w/ a voucher - we’re gonna make them look like old E-Ticket Ride tickets at Disneyland.

Bigger tax breaks for billionaires - yes. Billionaires are people who got that way because they can never have enough money. I say give ‘em tax breaks, so they can buy more homes, and yachts. We know money doesn’t make anyone happy.

Most importantly, I will ship our jobs to China. Who wants to work? Nobody... Easy solution. Everyone can just chillax outside, get some rays and catch up on 50 Shades of Grey.

I’m going to make sure everyone in America has a Swiss bank account, even if they just have a dollar in it.

My ideas may sound crazy to you, but to Ron Paul, they sound normal. I should be running against him.

Are you better off than what you were 4 years ago? I’d say yes -- because you now have me as a candidate.

Stimulus? … I won’t spend one more cent on trying to make more money.

Even Chris Matthews got swept up in the Señor Loro craze at the Puppet National Convention!

Call me the food stamp president if you like, but I’m going to make all U.S. currency look like food stamps in the next printing, and it will be overseen by Crayola.

I will provide healthcare for EVERYONE with their own private personal physician, WebMD. In my United States, you’ll be able to order prescription drugs online and self-medicate. Because the best doctor I know is Me.

Sure we got Osama Bin Laden, but those people are like whack a moles, they just keep popping up. Obama has more drones than Darth Vader had Imperial stormtroopers.

Saving the auto industry was a mistake. I’ve seen the Jetsons, and we are way Behind Schedule.

School classrooms seem to be getting bigger and bigger. That’s why I say we get rid of schools altogether and make everyone homeschool with iPads. You can keep going up grade levels as long as you can afford the next Apple upgrade.

A new poll showed that if the election were to be held today -- people would be very confused because they’re always held in November.

Higher education will be unnecessary in my world, as my presidency will be simply to prepare us for our eventual take over by China.

You can find our campaign on Tweeter, CaraLibro, TuTubo, and Mi Espacio (now that Justin Timberlake brought its sexy back)!

GRACIAS & GOD BLESS AMERICA!

 Señor Loro for PRESIDENT 2012!







Monday, September 17, 2012

SEÑOR LORO for PRESIDENT 2012! ~ POLITICAL AD


Señor Loro is running for President in this year's election as a 3rd Party Candidate! 

He's made out of more plastic than Mitt Romney, yet has the Latino vote locked down! 

Join us at the Puppet National Convention where he's making his formal acceptance speech on Sept. 30th Flappers Comedy Club, in Burbank California @ 9PM in the YOO-Hoo ROOM!


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Señor Loro's Stand-Up show for 5 BUCKS?! ... Sí!


If you PRINT THIS 2 for 1 TICKET ABOVE: Get in for $5 BUCKS!


You haven't seen the height of "Meta" till you've seen Puppets talk about Politicians! Señor Loro, a red parrot, runs for President as an Indie, Latino, 'Puppet Party' candidate!

Join us on Sept. 30th, 2012 @ 9PM in Flappers Comedy Club Burbank's YOO HOO ROOM where the illegal immigrant cast of http://LosTiteres.TV/ and Loro announce his candidacy, plus introduce an evening of brilliant stand-up comics ROASTING this year's Election!

FACEBOOK LINK: https://www.facebook.com/groups/17845842477/


Hilarious! Puppets take PESOS! 


SEÑOR LORO, 2012!



Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Señor Loro's Stand-Up Extravaganza - POLITICAL EDITION


Queridos Amigos,

As you know from reading this blog, it is unconventional and irregular. About the only thing you can count on is that I'll be here promoting the lastest LosTiteres.TV venture.

These days, we have been forging ahead with our very successful stand-up comedy night where I always introduce, but all our titeres take part in introducing our guest comedians: You'll see Conchita, Schmedley, Mortimer Weasel... the whole gang.

As it stands, I have been able to roost above the building in a little nook I found in the parking structure, and it's going to take a beekeeper to smoke me out. Last time we had formidable puppeteer Gaston Morineau show up with a clown puppet that had us all in stitches.

Well, we titeres are more stitched up than Joan Rivers, but my point is that he made us laugh -- and I'm usually afraid of clowns. This time, as I'm about to launch my candidacy as an independent for my upcoming presidential run, I decided that it would be wise to launch it with a BIG BANG!

And by that I mean, work it into the show. That's how I came upon the idea of making this night our POLITICAL EDITION. Although I'm intending on doing a presidential commercial and having a Super PAC like the big boys do -- I am inaugurating my candidacy by hosting an evening of laughs about politics.

I think that's appropriate, and being an independent candidate, that unconventional approach suits me. Talk about landing the Latino Vote -- I'm sure they're gonna want to vote for me over Romney. I mean, we're both equally as plastic, but I speak Spanish, and don't act shady about the fact that my grandfather lived in Mexico.

So, if you're in the Burbank area on SEPTEMBER 30th, 2012 @ 9PM, and you want to laugh at a couple of funny lines about Paul Ryan's bulgy toad eyes, or Barak Obama's plans to turn this country into a big socialist gay wedding, then head on over to THE YOO HOO ROOM at FLAPPERS Comedy Club!

God Bless America,
Señor Loro
Latino, Plastic-American Candidate
United States Presidency

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Señor Loro TONIGHT @ FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB in Burbank!

AMIGOS! Señor Loro lands  TONIGHT @ FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB in Burbank!


The show's like AVENUE Q screwed CRANK YANKERS, & raised their baby @ PLAZA SÉSAMO.


Thursday, May 3, 2012

Señor Loro's Stand-Up Extravaganza @ FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB ~ May 6th @ 9PM


Hey Grown-Up Kids! ... I am flying your way!

Closer to the Sunday MAY 6th @ 9PM when my new STAND UP COMEDY EXTRAVAGANZA is set to debut at FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB in Burbank, California!

We have hotter comics than Comedy Central!

Matter of fact, I won't be surprised if they show up to spy and try to steal them away from me!

Here's our amazing line up!

Michael Vinton
Roy Cruz 
Jonny K Jouet & Marioneta Fuego (from the WEB series)
Fox Michaels  (from the WEB's: Buster The Web Series)
Jennifer Sullivan
Luchana Gatica (funny comedienne & daughter of the super-famoso Spanish singer, Lucho Gatica!)

Plus some guy who INSISTED on being in the show!:   Felix Pire

We'll also have sketches with the puppets of LosTiteres.TV!

The evening will be so unconventional and unique, it'll hardly have anything in common with itself! Plus, I'll do my stand up.

You'll pardon me, if I take stabs with my beak at the peanuts on the comedy club tables in between jokes, it's a "parrot" thing.







Love & Laughter, 
Señor Loro Stand-Up Comedy Extravaganza Host 
Proud Bird, 
Possible 3rd Party Candidate in 2012

Thursday, April 12, 2012

2 for 1 Ticket to SEÑOR LORO'S STAND-UP EXTRAVAGANZA!

Please feel free to print this cupon and bring it with you for a 2 for 1 admission!


“FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB” , 102 East Magnolia Boulevard, Burbank, California 91502 on May 6th 2012 @ 9PM in the ‘Yoohoo Room’! ~


MIRA! ...  NUESTRO  INFOMERCIAL!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Jonny K Jouet & Marioneta Fuego ~ a hardcore, sexy new spin on Wayland Flowers & Madame

You lucky bitches! ~ Jonny K Jouet is assistant to a "drag queen" named Marioneta Fuego, who has decided to come out of the closet but not about being gay. 


They're the NEW WAYLAND FLOWERS & MADAME and they'll be performing exclusively at SEÑOR LORO'S STAND-UP EXTRAVAGANZA! We're all hoping he'll be shirtless there too.




Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Señor Loro's Stand-Up Extravaganza!

After many years of struggle, the puppets of LosTiteres.TV are on the ascent!

Señor Loro hosts this uniquely HILARIOUS stand-up comedy show, combining out of the box stand-up comedians, puppet monologues & sketches!

Catch The Rising Star of Señor Loro and the puppets of LosTiteres.TV at their own Stand Up Comedy show at:

“FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB” , 102 East Magnolia Boulevard, Burbank, California 91502 on May 6th 2012 @ 9PM in the ‘Yoohoo Room’! ~

And it's only 10 pesos!

PUPPET MAYHEM & OUT OF THE BOX COMEDIANS!

CLICK HERE for our FACEBOOK INVITE!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

LosTiteres.TV's BRANDING PITCH!




Dear Spring Chickens and Business Class Passengers,

I can't tell you how hard I've been working here in Hollywood trying to get our little show sponsored by a corporation that will suck all the life out of it. Because really, otherwise, what's the fun? Life is a Mambo, you gotta shake it till you break it, because that's the only thing that you can take with you when you kick it: your dancing.

So, we gotta flap our wings and kick our feet around like a horny rooster, so everyone can see that we mean Business!... What we're looking for are the same people who create Super PACs for the candidates in this year's elections. People who are willing to invest in puppets.

This is so complicated, next they're going to want me to give them a business plan. Yeah, like I know how to do math. I have the math skills of a 2 year old -- but I can gossip like I'm 5!

So, with Conchita's Photoshop skills and Mary Juana's know-how on getting people hooked, we cobbled together a pitch to corporate sponsors on the value of branding a new cast of irreverent, funny Latino titeres with their product & some good financial backing.

What do I know? I'm only creating a show that has the potential to reach a massive Bilingual, Latino market that they say will decide this year's election...

Here's the order of the slides conceptually: WHO WE ARE & WHAT WE DO, OUR WEB PORTALS, OUR CREDENTIALS, THE CAST & SKETCHES, POTENTIAL HUGE HISPANIC/LATINO OUTREACH POTENTIAL, making LosTiteres.TV a BRANDED 1/2 HOUR TV SHOW ON THE WEB.

Sometimes with the small Google player, it messes up the text, but "cheep" isn't just the first thing that came out of my mouth when I came out of the egg -- I just don't like spending money. And Google es GRATIS!

You can check it out without the "out of whack" text positioning here: https://docs.google.com/present/view?id=dcfn9jjv_21fjbkxvz3

Big as Google is, you'd think they'd work out those kinks in their small embed players. The programming is older than when Susan Lucci was a schoolgirl.

If you're an interested investor, you can click here to on CONTACT US... Write us -- unless our receptionist, Mortimer Weasel, is on vacation, he should get right back to you.

If it's Chiquita Banana that wants to sponsor this show, I think Conchita is going to faint with delight! ...

Producing this THING,
Señor Loro
Parrot Host and Grief Counselor

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

"This is What I Do" and The "Shit We Say"... to your MEMES

Following popular online memes, we have created several of our own versions...

Take for instance, the I AM A... meme... Here's one for "I AM A DIRECTOR":


Here's "I AM AN ACTOR":


Here's our response:


I'm sure many of you have seen the "SHIT GIRLS SAY" videos:



Here's our response with the "SHIT PUPPETS SAY":




We're so topical & current, we hardly have time to be CLASSIC!

Yours in Tweets,
Señor Loro

Parrot Puppet Host, LosTiteres.TV!