Monday, October 29, 2007

The Conchita Show: It's All An Act!



Dear Amigos and confused internet readers who stumbled upon this laughable mess by mistake! It is I, once more, your favorite Loro -- here to introduce to you our next exciting webisode of LosTiteres.TV!

Conchita is a multitalented performer, as I'm sure you've seen. So far, she has appeared in her own woman's issues series, THE CONCHITA SHOW, as well as the saucy internet telenovela, EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO, and most recently a guest starring role making out with Eli on NAKED BOB... Conchita gets around.

Last week, Conchita barged into my office followed by a private band of about four musicians. She force-sang several songs to me before I could get a word in edge-wise. She tap-danced on my desk, she did triple pirrouettes on the carpet, and finally landed in a perfect cheerleader-like split in front of her startled musicians!... And then she let out a little fart, but I barely heard it.

Ultimately, she showed me that she's got the chops to be a singer, and the legs to do a split. So I asked her right then and there if she'd like to do a musical number on her CONCHITA SHOW?

She tilted her head and smiled at me, delighted that her plan had worked. Then she complimented me on how welll arranged my feathers look today, and I was delighted, and totally bought the ass-kissing.


Then, having gotten up, I mentioned I knew model/actor Vincent De Paul from the movies HAIRSPRAY and DREAMGIRLS, who might be interested in showing off his crooning on her show! Agog, Conchita's eyes flipped back in her head and she collapsed with a THUD!

So, it is a particular pleasure to present to you an episode that Conchita and I actually didn't fight about, but which, in fact, made her faint with delight!

In it, she sings a wonderful new song, entitled: "It's All An Act" ... We were hoping to get Stephen Sondheim to write the melody, but he flat out told us to MERRILY ROLL ALONG...

Vincent did want to perform in the show, and asked to work with Conchita by name, because he somehow finds her foamy skin attractive. After the shoot, Vincent confessed that he felt awkward about being referred to by Conchita as a "Doll Man" in the song, but that he'd suffer for his art.

To which I asked, "What art?"

Poor Vincent is under the false impression that there is some kind of artwork going on at LosTiteres.TV, when this is all just time-wasting schlock.

I fully acknowledge that this show is dreadfully insane -- and it is a slight use of the word to even call this show "entertainment". Okay, it's "webertainment", which I've just coined, and means it's useless and meaningless, but please watch it!

Gracias for clicking, and I hope you enjoy the song, the bitches and the Spanish fly. (*Watch and you'll see what I mean.)

Bueno, my friends, until next time, this is your favorite Cuban parrot saying:

"If Musica be the food of Amor, TOCA!!!"

Besitos en el Piquito
(Kisses on the Beak),
Mister Loro
Upscale Poultry, Musical Producer,
Host of LosTiteres.TV