GRACIAS for reading our "origins screenplay"! Here is the Final Installment!
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INT. LORO’S OFFICE
SEÑOR LORO peering over his own deak -- now ALL THE PUPPETS ARE ASSEMBLED IN “PITCH MODE” AGAIN.
MARIO
-- and that’s why I think I should get to interview Charlie Sheen!
MORTIMER WEASEL
Can we talk about how many Peabody Awards I’ve won? Stand behind me in line, I interviewed the Easter Bunny last year, and I’m legal!
GENERAL HUBBUB.
SEÑOR LORO
Ah, great ideas for segments everyone! There’s something to be said about being with our familia again. Feels right.
THEY FILE OUT.
MARIO
Think about it bird. (whispers) I’ll even take some heroin on camera.
SEÑOR LORO
Okay, Mario, I’ll think about it... FLUTTER YOUR ASS OUTTA HERE!
SEÑOR LORO closes the door, and leans up against it, releasing a big, lonesome sigh.
SEÑOR LORO (CONT’D)
Oh... I guess this is my life -- married to my work.
MUFFLED MEOWS. He double-takes and walks over to the cardboard box.
GATICA (O.S.)
Meow.
He opens the box, and out jumps GATICA.
SEÑOR LORO
Oh, what an unexpected surprise.
GATICA
My hero!
She kisses him!
SEÑOR LORO
I would blush, but it would be redundant.
He hugs her.
FADE OUT.
EXT. STAGE DOOR - DAY
Schmedley shuffles out, and there’s a MOB of people waiting for his autograph. Among them is PRICILLA, his biggest fan. They see each other and fall in love at first sight.
MUSICAL INTERLUDE, SCHMALTZY CLOSE UPS.
SCHMEDLEY
Where have you been all my life?
PRICILLA
Watching you on TV!
He hugs her, and pulls her out of the crowd.
SCHMEDLEY
You gotta come by the studio sometime.
PRICILLA
(excited)
You betcha!
INT. STUDIO - BACKSTAGE
Everything seems to be up and running again. THE NEWS GUYS WALK PAST as the CAMERA MOVES ABOUT.
PONCH
Jimmy, I think we deserve a vacation after this much stress.
JIMMY
I think we deserve a union, that’s step 2.
PONCH
If the Señor Loro hears you say that, it’s curtains for you.
JIMMY
I’ll bring the ACLU on ‘im, like I did last time when they discriminated against us as “little puppets”. That was step one.
They laugh sarcastically.
ANGLE - ANOTHER AREA OF THE STUDIO -
A FEMALE REPORTER interviews BLUEBOX.
FEMALE REPORTER
... giving opportunity to people who are blue, like yourself.
BLUEBOX
Yeah, blue people have been largely overlooked. Look, in my home world, we’re all politicians, so this is a step up.
FEMALE REPORTER
You’re producing and directing different segments now?
BLUEBOX
Yeah, but I’m totally a second class citizen in this show, but that’s a reflection of America at large.
NAKED BOB walks past in a bullfighter outfit, and the camera follows him. He SHRUGS and LOOKS directly to the CAMERA:
NAKED BOB
What? ... I got cold.
He walks past CONCHITA and RONALDO in the --
INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Their son, YOYI, stands quivering in the corner. Conchita’s yelling at his father, Ronaldo.
CONCHITA
I didn’t tell you to take him to no Titty Bar, you sexist, machista hijo de puta!
RONALDO
You said something that would scare him straight!... You’ve been PIMPING, how about THAT?
CONCHITA
I guess we’ve both been shady, but it was for a good cause.
They embrace and make out. Yoyi covers his eyes. A TV behind them plays the first few moments of a new interview.
We CUT INTO:
INT. STUDIO - BACKSTAGE - CONTINUOUS
ANGLE - As in the beginning, SEÑOR LORO sits in a director’s chair. BRONSON, our nemesis REPORTER is opposite him.
NEWS REPORTER
So... Things have changed, Señor Lorenzo.
SEÑOR LORO
Loro. Señor Loro. (sighs) Yeah, everything’s different, yet everything remains the same. Kind of like Cuba after Fidel Castro stepped down.
NEWS REPORTER
And is Schmedley a part of LosTiteres.TV, or will he step down?
SEÑOR LORO
Well, he’s on the board, and he’s still a performer, but I think he’s growing up, you know. He’s got girls on his mind.
NEWS REPORTER
What’s next for you, Señor Loro. Marriage, perhaps to Gatica Pussywillow?
SEÑOR LORO
Well, that rumor’s been bandied about, but nobody knows.
NEWS REPORTER
You puppets are one odd Latin bunch of characters. Like your song says, you’re funny, you’re queer. You never dress in khakhi --
Señor Loro strums his fingers on the arm of his chair, and calmly looks on.
SEÑOR LORO
That’s right, that’s right -- and thank goodness we’re here...
GAY MEXICAN MARACA #2 pokes out from behind him.
GAY MEXICAN MARACA #2
Sí.
NICKY
And we’re out!
BRONSON
Until we meet again, Señor Loco.
SEÑOR LORO
Loro. Señor Lo -- I’m getting a little sleepy, I’m an old bird.
Nicky and Bronson pack in a moment and leave as Señor Loro waves goodbye...
CAMERA PULLS BACK WIDER & WIDER as LORO sits, strumming his fingers, in a trompe d’oeil special effects shot, so that it’s a full view, yet, old school Kermit the Frog style, done with mirrors.
Señor Loro is so tired, his eyes close and his head bobs.
WE move around the STUDIO to look around one last time.
SCHMEDLEY’S nonchalantly chatting with CONCHITA...
MARY’s smoking out of a hooka with NAKED BOB...
SEÑOR LORO’S DESK DRAWER pulls open. THE GAY MARACAS are SMOKING post-sex CIGARETTES.
LOOK UP, and BLUEBOX walks past us with his clipboard and headset, frustrated, muttering to himself:
BLUEBOX
These puppets are out ‘dey minds...
Other PUPPETS MILL ABOUT THE STUDIO, as by now --
AS THEY WALK PAST US, we COME BACK full circle and MOVE CLOSER to:
SEÑOR LORO who, as lights dim in the studio, is left under a sole, soft spot light, innocently asleep.
OUR THEME SONG PLAYS in the style of a child’s lullaby...
CONCHITA and the ENTIRE PUPPET GANG surface slowly out of the shadows and see him there, sleeping.
RONALDO
Would you look at him... just like a big bird.
And the cutest thing, is -- as we inch closer, he falls deeper into sleep --
SEÑOR LORO
(muttering in his sleep)
Los Titeres... Thank Goodness we’re here.
He wobbles his head as he SNORES to a SLOW FADE OUT.
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