Señor Loro guest stars on Day 7 of Grant Baciocco's Advent Calendar

Dear Festive Holidays Amigos,

I was very excited and pleased to be invited as Grant Baciocco's webcast guest star of his 2011 Advent Calendar.

Grant is an award winning podcaster who has been featured in many magazines and online for his famous children's show, The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd!

We met Grant at the Jim Henson Studios in Hollywood, California and have continued to be pals with him since then because not only is he an exceptionally nice guy, he's also a producer of puppet programming.

Be sure to become his Twitter friend at: @ToasterBoy, and you'll find out about his many projects! We expect more big things will come from this great talent!

For now, we were very excited to be on the show, and hope to be invited back next year, although I don't know if my laughing during sad movies is really politically correct...?

Then again, when have you known me to be a politically correct Polly?

Look, all I want is a cracker.

Hugs for the Holidays,
Señor Loro
Proud Guest Star of Grant Baciocco's Advent Calendar

Señor Loro announces the new iPhone app for LosTiteres.TV!

“I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!” ~ a funny fantasy film con titeres, directed & edited by Felix Pire

Dear Locos,

We're gonna give you a Woody ... Allen.

As you all know, this film has been in the works up in here at LosTiteres.TV studios for the past year, and with the opening of The Muppets movie, we thought we'd give you the edgy alternative and cough up something that might have been written by Woody Allen.

This screenplay came up through friends at the New York Film Academy, which is ironically on the Universal Studios lot, across from Warner Brothers studios in Burbank, California.

Who knew that the studios there would be so scrunched up together as to be practically across the street? There are more studios in Hollywood than Starbucks.

With the help of a few of our friends and Dr. Stan Monsterberg and Francine, two puppets who've become adjunct members of our comedy company of schmactors (I just coined that, it means "Schmaltzy Actors").

We also cast some humans as central to the storyline, and they were spectacularly funny. They are sort of the anti-"Gary & Mary", if you saw the last Muppets movie.

"I Almost Married a Monster!" is a parable about love and relationships, told through four questionable characters who act like MoNsTerS!

The film made its onscreen debut at Warner Brothers Studios. We brought on some "no-name" director-editor people have scoffed at, Felix Pire (yes, our producer) -- but hell, he delivered it on time and under budget.

TIP: The end credits are worth the wait!

Happy Winter!
Señor Loro
Foul Fowl-in-Chief

We'll Be Right Back!

"METRO KID" WINS HONORABLE MENTION at the 2011 Transit Flicks Competition!

Hola Mis Votadores! ... Hello, MY VOTERS!

You will not believe this smack -- WE WON! Yes, we did!

Gracias! ... MUCHAS GRACIAS to all of you who voted for us!

And for those of you who decided to vote for other flicks, may the Lord do what he will with you! ...  I would have you plucked and dipped in the blood of former cast members of the Latino musical, In The Heights. But that's just me, I'm extravagant.

Finally, we make a puppet movie that serves the viewer, and it wins a festival! Go figure.

Unlike the self-involved programming we've been providing, "METRO KID" is a lovely commercial for the Hollywood area's transit system, and it proves that once again ~ titeres are where it's at! 

Mortimer Weasel explains the delights of watching the news on the bus.

Entiendes? Puppets, especially Spanish and bilingual ones, with a productive message is what is going to propel this brand forward!

Yet, I got my marketing training from a puppet pidgeon who's still active on MySpace... He might be a little behind the trend.

But look at us! Honorable Mention! ... I mean, what I expected was:

"Who's this parrot with a mustache? Where did he come from? -- SECURITY!"

And then a bunch of people would have hauled me out of there with my flick on my flip drive.

Señor Loro at his desk, LosTiteres.TV Studios

Now, what do we win...? Turns out, the winner gets an All-You-Can-Bus Pass for the month of November, 2011.

And that, my friends, is called: The Bigtime...

Totalling the amount of bus travel I do on a daily basis in Hollywood -- (and it's highly glamarous to ride the busses around here, may I add, everyone always stops and stares when you get out of one)  -- it's a good $64 dollars worth.

Why don't you fly, you ask? ... Why don't you stop stereotyping me? 

Y también, I would like to add, that if I were TU, I'd be very excited!

We have some earth revolutionizing stuff coming up in November, if by "revolucionando el mundo",  I mean:

Fresh LosTiteres.TV mayhem with Naked Bob, Mary Juana, Conchita, Mortimer Weasel!

Stan Monsterberg, star of I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!

Plus, another 1/2 hour episode, featuring a new short film, called I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!, which made its debut on a screen at Warner Brothers movie studio in Burbank, California!

So, stick around, we'll be right back...

Señor Loro
Producer of the Award Winning Film, "Metro Kid"
LosTiteres.TV Studios
Felix Pire Bldg, 2nd Fl, Nest #201

VOTE FOR: "Metro Kid", a LosTiteres.TV FINALIST in MTA's 2011 Transit Flicks Competition!

Dear Amigos,

We're FINALISTS in a FILM COMPETITION! ... And who says immigrant puppets are worthless...? We can entertain just like everyone else!

We can wash soiled linens and scrub toilets, just like Lindsay Lohan doing community service at the morgue.

I'm positive those morticians can break Lindsay Lohan in & scare the shit outta her -- as long as she's doesn't believe the cadavers are mirrors...

Happy pre-Halloween.

Please VOTE for our newest short flick, called "METRO KID", starring a few of our puppets acting as other characters.

Conchita's son Yoyi stars in this one, taking you on a tour through Hollywood by using the metro bus. Scroll to the bottom of the page and CLICK US TO SUCCESS!

By the way, voting ends: Oct. 24, 2011!

You can find the MTA's 2011 Transit Flicks Competition's page at: http://www.metro.net/about/transit-flicks/

We will be cranking out our newest webisodes in November of 2011, so stay tuned!

Love,
Señor Loro
Proud Producer of
Hand Made Puppet Flicks

LosTiteres.TV aims to become BRANDED ENTERTAINMENT!

Saludos, Zorros!

Yes I'm calling you a Zorro!

Because all you foxes who watch LosTiteres.TV are clever and wiley. You know that we are the last puppet Coca-Cola in the Latino desert, and you've come back for more entertainment and insight into what's going on behind the scenes at LosTiteres.TV!

Well, in addition to partnering with Appmakr.com to create our very own LosTiteres.TV! iPhone application, as you can see in this screenshot which is what happens when you press the YouTube button. Beautiful previews:

Then, if you wanna buy our gear, made by American puppets of Latino descent living in cactus plants in Arizona, you can go to the BUY OUR STUFF button, and see the following...

(We ALREADY have: "SEÑOR LORO FOR PRESIDENT" T-shirts in stock!)

And here's what's most important, we're learning how to brand ourselves and sell ourselves like cheap online sex toys...

Well, we're not selling the plush doll version of ourselves on Zazzle.com yet, but that's next!

What's really exciting is the fact that we know who we are:

... AND WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT:

You know, in this economy you have to be smart and out-reaching. You have to think both inside the computer box and outside of it.

And, as a parrot, all I previously knew from Fidel Castro's teachings, was REPEAT... But America means INNOVATE!

And during bad economic times -- that's when puppets thrive, because our dietary budget is: $0. We live on nada, nothing, negative zero...

When you've got nothing, all of a sudden, big bright red feathers grow out of your arms, and you realize you can fly. You've not nothing to lose!

Enterprising in America,
Señor Loro
Parrot Producer, Business Man, Mogul

LosTiteres.TV Returns in November of 2011

LosTieres.TV ~ PILOT EPISODE



My Dear Amigos, One Subscriber and Three Followers,

As you can imagine, I am happy to be back writing to you while vacationing in Martha's Vineyard... I decided to take a little time off to reassess, to figure out where it is exactly LosTiteres.TV is as a series.

It recently played on television, but of course, right when we're in the midst of the recession. Who is going to be maverick enough to invest in some clever and unusual puppets with a Latin slant...?

Conchita was depressed about it, and she went into counseling with her husband Ronaldo, whose business teaching acting hit the skids. People found out that he was teaching it from an Hispanic Point of View, and everyone figured out that the networks would be uninterested, as reflected by their casting this year.

Mario Mariposa called and told me that his lover of five years was being threatened to be deported, and that he was a mess without work. Same goes for Naked Bob, who called me while selling locks of his hair as macrame.

And Shmedley, you might ask? What happened to him? ... Our one sponsor?! ... Well, he's decided to open a couple of plants for puppets in China, and took away our funding. In essence, now he's paying us less for giving him the pleasure of appearing on our show.

Talking about branded entertainment, we found out that there are web series now, that are being funded by major corporations, like Kmart and Google. It's clear to me that me would make great plush dolls and action figures, so I don't know what all those companies are waiting for?! Here we are, Chiquita Banana!

But instead, we've turned to mobile phone technology... You know, apps, like this one for your iPhone!!

We teamed up with a new company called AppMakr.com (particularly a young fella named Jason Gray), and started sending our own special variety of fun with salsa out to all the techno-geeks out there in cyberspace. Let's face it, we've been online for a while, and we want to pretend that a lot of people keep up with us.

I'm a bird, as you may tell from my feather, aquiline nose, and ornery qualities. I decided if our audience wants to know about us, best thing to do is: TWEET!

So on our app, you'll be able to check out our Facebook Updates, Twitter, YouTube, This Blog, iTunes, and you could even buy our merch in the BUY STUFF section of the app -- including my very own presidential candidate's shirt on ZAZZLE: "SEÑOR LORO FOR PRESIDENT" T-shirt, which includes my motto: "I'M A PUPPET AND I ADMIT IT."

We've been revving up, and I've been trying to get into any of the presidential debates, but the only ones I've been able to get into are on the Metrobus when I'm riding around town, and it's usually with some old lady whose worried I might lay an egg on my seat.

In any case, the tryout of the show went very well! For the first time, I was in the editing room putting together a complete half-hour show like the ones you'd watch on television, and I was so excited that I wouldn't stop squawking. Finally, the editors told me to shut up, and the process became easier. I was cutting for the best takes of Me.

We delivered the show to the channel in Houston, who played them, and whose head of programming became a fan. But let's face it, advertising dollars for us are hard to come by, especially, since Mortimer Weasel took it upon himself to report to the big wigs at the networks that we only really have 3 subscribers and one follower. (THIS MEANS YOU: Kelvin Kao and Fox Michaels.)

They dropped us like hot tamales... But I made amends, and we're good now, especially since our episodes ended up doing so well on YouTube! Now, the studio in Houston knows just how many people we can reach, and next time will be able to cough up MACY'S as a sponsor! ... For now, the fountain in front of Macy's at the Mall is where we're getting our funding.

In this blog entry you'll see we embeded our PILOT, a 1/2 Hour Episode filled with minor glitches and errors, which make us raw and interesting. The overwhelming response is that that's why the people like it. There's nothing polished about it; that is our guarantee... There's also a wonderful bunch of talented, brilliant artists mentioned in the credits at the end. That's really who made this madness possible!

We're very proud to release these to the public in order to show the world, that if a bunch of downtrodden, knock-off puppets with a show like our own can make it in cyberspace -- then, maybe we have a shot at the Bigtime! And by that, I mean at some point becoming plush dolls.

"You're disgusting, Señor Loro, for being a sell-out!", you might say. But I tell you what, mis amigos. I am a part of the Puppet Beings of Sarcasm union, or PBS. I offer fair wages for puppets. Puppets are people, just like corporations, except puppets don't eat, which makes them easier to hire.

Conchita will work for two false eyelashes and a mojito.

LosTieres.TV ~ EPISODE 2




So I've been having discussions with Alfonso, our resident rodent, who owns the studio where we shoot the show, at an undisclosed location in Miami and Hollywood, California (depending on my flight pattern that year) -- about how to make it more affordable, and how much he's going to get paid.

Other than a slight disruption during one of our Christmas webisodes last year, he and his eight hundred kids and countless family members have stayed within the walls, and not bothered us much.

Largely because our living, talking cannabis plant, Mary Juana, has taken her dead relatives and burned their bodies at the studio, funneling the smoke into the air conditioning system in the mornings. By mid-afternoon, we're all ravenous and the mice are busy eating the walls from the inside out.

As to what lies in the future for LosTiteres.TV, well that has everything to do with this economy. Should the economy stay the way it is, that means good things for our show, because we always had a tight budget of: zero dollars.

We know how to make ends meet with that. Usually, we meet and talk about how this is the End.

We have gotten through it this far! ... And conversely, should everything go well, in a few years, you'll be able to buy actions figures of us at Kmart, which is convenient because it's where many Latinos shop.

I've buried the headline because I'm in nesting mode up here at Martha's Vineyard.

I've made a nest, and my intricate weaving of random pieces of straw and plastic and paper I've woven it from is kinda like this story, you have to bury the elements within each other, which is what makes it all hold together. Makes it interesting, comfy and fulfilling to sit your ass in.

So sit your fluffy feathers and rest on the fact that New Webisodes are in the works, and will start appearing, along with new entries into this blog come November of 2011... They will include more Schmedley, Naked Bob, as well as my Campaign video and a full, 22 minute episode which features the film: I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER in its entirety!

Bueno, everyone, that's all the exciting stuff we've got going on this FALL!

I hope you all enjoy the couple of full episodes of LosTiteres.TV, which is made up of many of our older webisodes, cut up to go much faster, plus they include Never Before Seen Footage of myself introducing!

Look, gente, I don't expect you to vote for me in next year's election, but I do want to make some noise and be heard. Not because I have a political agenda, but because I run a business here, and I'm trying to make some good product. It should sound like Christina Aguilera and taste like Ricky Martin, it should look like JLo, and feel like Justin Timberlake (who is not Latino, but has got merengue in his soul).

See you in November folks... for now, I'll be perched on this tree limb, discussing with Alfonso how to take our show to the next level, as the breeze blows and as, a few yards away, president Obama lounges under another tree discussing how to get our country out of the red... I'm going to go over in a bit and suggest using coins from the fountain at the mall.

As for LosTiteres.TV, consider us on hiatus.

Adios, mis amigos, nos vemos in Noviembre!

Pecks on Your Face,
Señor Loro
President, LosTiteres.TV
Martha's Vineyard, New England

Latino puppet series gets plucked by Mi Casa Broadcasting digital cable!

It’s Official! The new television station Mi Casa Broadcasting (which has entered a deal with fiber optic network giant, Phonoscope), will air two half-hour pilot episodes this year on Houston digital cable of my comedy series with Latino puppets: “Felix Pire’s LosTiteres.TV!”