420 Time with Mary Juana ~ Hit #1 ~ Craig from Colorado

Mary Juana is a hermaphrodite pot plant whose main goal in life is to get passed around & toked. 

Craig has some curious questions.

The Latinas Orgullosas Awards

Because ‪#‎OscarsSoWhite‬, LosTiteres opted to have our own ‪#‎Awards‬ for Proud ‪#‎Latinas‬! ‪

#‎Oscar‬ ‪#‎GoldenGlobes‬ ‪#‎OscarNoms‬

SEÑOR LORO for PRESIDENT 2012! ~ POLITICAL AD

Señor Loro is running for President in this year's election as a 3rd Party Candidate! 

He's made out of more plastic than Mitt Romney, yet has the Latino vote locked down! 

Join us at the Puppet National Convention where he's making his formal acceptance speech on Sept. 30th Flappers Comedy Club, in Burbank California @ 9PM in the YOO-Hoo ROOM!

"METRO KID" WINS HONORABLE MENTION at the 2011 Transit Flicks Competition!

Hola Mis Votadores! ... Hello, MY VOTERS!

You will not believe this smack -- WE WON! Yes, we did!

Gracias! ... MUCHAS GRACIAS to all of you who voted for us!

And for those of you who decided to vote for other flicks, may the Lord do what he will with you! ...  I would have you plucked and dipped in the blood of former cast members of the Latino musical, In The Heights. But that's just me, I'm extravagant.

Finally, we make a puppet movie that serves the viewer, and it wins a festival! Go figure.

Unlike the self-involved programming we've been providing, "METRO KID" is a lovely commercial for the Hollywood area's transit system, and it proves that once again ~ titeres are where it's at! 

Mortimer Weasel explains the delights of watching the news on the bus.

Entiendes? Puppets, especially Spanish and bilingual ones, with a productive message is what is going to propel this brand forward!

Yet, I got my marketing training from a puppet pidgeon who's still active on MySpace... He might be a little behind the trend.

But look at us! Honorable Mention! ... I mean, what I expected was:

"Who's this parrot with a mustache? Where did he come from? -- SECURITY!"

And then a bunch of people would have hauled me out of there with my flick on my flip drive.

Señor Loro at his desk, LosTiteres.TV Studios

Now, what do we win...? Turns out, the winner gets an All-You-Can-Bus Pass for the month of November, 2011.

And that, my friends, is called: The Bigtime...

Totalling the amount of bus travel I do on a daily basis in Hollywood -- (and it's highly glamarous to ride the busses around here, may I add, everyone always stops and stares when you get out of one)  -- it's a good $64 dollars worth.

Why don't you fly, you ask? ... Why don't you stop stereotyping me? 

Y también, I would like to add, that if I were TU, I'd be very excited!

We have some earth revolutionizing stuff coming up in November, if by "revolucionando el mundo",  I mean:

Fresh LosTiteres.TV mayhem with Naked Bob, Mary Juana, Conchita, Mortimer Weasel!

Stan Monsterberg, star of I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!

Plus, another 1/2 hour episode, featuring a new short film, called I ALMOST MARRIED A MONSTER!, which made its debut on a screen at Warner Brothers movie studio in Burbank, California!

So, stick around, we'll be right back...

Señor Loro
Producer of the Award Winning Film, "Metro Kid"
LosTiteres.TV Studios
Felix Pire Bldg, 2nd Fl, Nest #201

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 4)

There's nothing like an irate parrot and a nutty pianist during the holiday season -- and that is what we get when we mix my temper with Enrique's sarcastic wit. We might make up, as this is the holiday season, but we won't find out until Part 5!

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 3)

There's something heartwarming about nesting in a Christmas tree. The familiar notes of Christmas tunes can warm us up... But in this interview I'm all all about immigrant issues. Revealing my past with Fidel Castro, I tell all about my defection to the United States -- and the fact that my plumes go great with the nuanced art deco of South Beach is only a plus.

Señor Loro's Holiday Special (Part 2)

You won't believe to what extremes this red bird will go to in order to get Hollywood to pay attention! Yes, I'm back and I'm self-congratulating light years ahead of Hollywood Awards season!

The Conchita Show: It's All An Act!

Dear Amigos and confused internet readers who stumbled upon this laughable mess by mistake! It is I, once more, your favorite Loro -- here to introduce to you our next exciting webisode of LosTiteres.TV!

Conchita is a multitalented performer, as I'm sure you've seen. So far, she has appeared in her own woman's issues series, THE CONCHITA SHOW, as well as the saucy internet telenovela, EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO, and most recently a guest starring role making out with Eli on NAKED BOB... Conchita gets around.

Last week, Conchita barged into my office followed by a private band of about four musicians. She force-sang several songs to me before I could get a word in edge-wise. She tap-danced on my desk, she did triple pirrouettes on the carpet, and finally landed in a perfect cheerleader-like split in front of her startled musicians!... And then she let out a little fart, but I barely heard it.

Ultimately, she showed me that she's got the chops to be a singer, and the legs to do a split. So I asked her right then and there if she'd like to do a musical number on her CONCHITA SHOW?

She tilted her head and smiled at me, delighted that her plan had worked. Then she complimented me on how welll arranged my feathers look today, and I was delighted, and totally bought the ass-kissing.


Then, having gotten up, I mentioned I knew model/actor Vincent De Paul from the movies HAIRSPRAY and DREAMGIRLS, who might be interested in showing off his crooning on her show! Agog, Conchita's eyes flipped back in her head and she collapsed with a THUD!

So, it is a particular pleasure to present to you an episode that Conchita and I actually didn't fight about, but which, in fact, made her faint with delight!

In it, she sings a wonderful new song, entitled: "It's All An Act" ... We were hoping to get Stephen Sondheim to write the melody, but he flat out told us to MERRILY ROLL ALONG...

Vincent did want to perform in the show, and asked to work with Conchita by name, because he somehow finds her foamy skin attractive. After the shoot, Vincent confessed that he felt awkward about being referred to by Conchita as a "Doll Man" in the song, but that he'd suffer for his art.

To which I asked, "What art?"

Poor Vincent is under the false impression that there is some kind of artwork going on at LosTiteres.TV, when this is all just time-wasting schlock.

I fully acknowledge that this show is dreadfully insane -- and it is a slight use of the word to even call this show "entertainment". Okay, it's "webertainment", which I've just coined, and means it's useless and meaningless, but please watch it!

Gracias for clicking, and I hope you enjoy the song, the bitches and the Spanish fly. (*Watch and you'll see what I mean.)

Bueno, my friends, until next time, this is your favorite Cuban parrot saying:

"If Musica be the food of Amor, TOCA!!!"

Besitos en el Piquito
(Kisses on the Beak),
Mister Loro
Upscale Poultry, Musical Producer,
Host of LosTiteres.TV

Acting from an Hispanic P.O.V. with Ronaldo & Eli

Outrageous Oglers and Peeping Toms who watch this small comedic travesty that we call a webisode series -- once again you'll wonder today, how it's all done. I wonder myself, even though I produce this thing! The show's special guest today is Eli Eagle, who came to us as a young, eager, doe-eyed, virgin actor from Hollywood, and left us a "man".

South Beach -- the sex, the glamour -- will do that to ya.

Anyone who faces Ronaldo, gets "South Beach man" points... I don't know how they do it, Ronaldo can destroy people as much as he can lift them up! And they line up for BLOCKS to be on his show to seek out his lame advice!

I will not judge the advice he gives actors, but let's just say a certain parrot who has acting aspirations would be first caught dead, than do what this guy says... much less, let him grab my tail feathers, or get me drunk.

I'm moulting, so I'm particularly curmudgeonly today. BAAAAK!...

I'm excited though, because Eli did several sketches on the show, and joined a new actress in a new webisode series centered around a fella I met walking around South Beach. People call him: NAKED BOB! ...


He just stands around dispensing astrological advice to the beach, to people who pass by, and oftentimes to the palm trees. I have to admit that Susan, our other *Guest Star*, looked positively lovely in her bikini!

Eli not only looked chipper and recently hatched, he was a great interview guest. Although... he said a little more than he should have about his relationship offscreen with Susan!


And then, of course, Susan, who overheard, taped an interview segment with me, and that's when the drama starts flying! She had heard everything Eli said -- and what's worse -- everything I said!


I don't know what's going on with these Latina women! --First Conchita is batting frying pans at me, and now this one literally beats me up, smacks me! Just because I insinuated on the air that she was my "ho"...

How Eli ALSO got action from Conchita is beyond me. Probably the drinks he got her, after he learned Mojitos are her weakness from Ronaldo!


I mean, really.... It's a show! I have to drum up the Drama!

Eli's really helping out with his crazy comments and his sexual prowess! ... And I'm a male bird too, you know, and I believe I'm what is called in Miami a "Pimp-Player" (pronounced: Playyyyaaaahhh)... I have appearances to upkeep, yo.

From now on, Dear Reader, I will call you: Yo.

Until we actually start paying people to humiliate themselves on LosTiteres.TV, I have to admit that I've been baffled by how many young actors want to appear on the show! Some of them actually have careers! Most are completely Loony Tunes:

Behind closed doors, Susan pulled a GUN on me! Not only did she want to be in the show, she wants union wages! I told her to go f*ck herself, and she shot me in the wing! ... I hope she doesn't read this.

Diós Mio -- I may not be able to fly ever again.

But typing's fine.

Good luck watching this next batch! More Eli and Susan coming soon! Remember to subscribe to this blog, and you won't miss a moment, yo!

BAAAAAAK!

Saludos to all the South Beach Birds!
Señor Loro
Host & Producer (*Pimp)
LosTiteres.TV

Acting From An Hispanic P.O.V with RONALDO!

Saludos Everyone, and thanks for reading the blog today!

If you've ever wanted an acting lesson, but don't know who the best coaches are, look no further. Teaching from an His-Panic point of view, our actor and acting coach, RONALDO (CONCHITA's husband), debuts his brand new show on our blog!

He may be eccentric and a little Cuban-crazy, but boy will be get a rise out of you and if you're not ready, scare you the hell out of show business!

BAAAAK! Sorry, I'm moulting and I tend to squawk more.

Happy Acting!
El Señor Loro
Cuban Parrot Extrordinaire