Señor Loro's Holiday Special (Part 2)

You won't believe to what extremes this red bird will go to in order to get Hollywood to pay attention! Yes, I'm back and I'm self-congratulating light years ahead of Hollywood Awards season!

Señor Loro's Holiday Special (Part 1)

Dear Holiday Hooligans...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Once again it is, I, the wacky bird with a fowl mouth and outraged temper. I'm here to calm my tail feathers down for once, and deliver a show that everyone will love. You remember specials like this one here from the times when you used to watch on TV growing up.

Remember when we'd get those classic moments of a famous host on TV, back "in the day", he (Kermit) or she (Carol Burnett) would sit by the fireplace with a guest star hugging a piano and play Christmas songs and trade rememberances about the past year? Well that is what this show is about ... And it all goes so fast, I tell you.

This year I'm in an elated mood, thanks to the success of this outrageous webisode series I created. I feel fluffed up enough, and centered on the stick in my birdcage enough to wish everyone a Merry Christmas -- and also to share a little of the holiday fun we've been having here at LosTiteres.TV!

For the past month, although not posting shows, we've been hard at work, with our beaks to the grindstone, cranking them out. You can expect a bunch of new sketches and segments with new and exciting characters, all scheduled to appear next year... which is only in a few days!

A taste of that savory goodness is here, with the gossipy celebrity goings on in Hollywood (and elsewhere) soon to be reported by our own social butterfly, Mario Mariposa. Mario is a terrific judge of celebrity character.

How's that, you ask? Simple: butterflies taste with their legs. And Mario has a penchant for landing on celebrity noses, and then running over to tells us what he's tasted. Many times it's not newsworthy, but sometimes it is. Yes, Britney tastes like train wreck, and Obama tastes like Oprah. But would you have guessed that Tom Cruise tastes like straight guy? Aston Kutcher like old lady, and Angelina Jolie like Nimibia? ... Maybe you would...

In this, his first webisode, Mario teams up with Conchita, and tries to land on her nose. Surprisingly, there's a big problem with that -- but I'll let you watch!... Next up Mario interviews a couple of Gay Maracas that frequently play with our band. Yes, much of the music you hear on LosTiteres.TV has their percussive stylings behind it...

Now be on the lookout, because my holiday special will be posed in this blog every day consecutively, every day for the next 5 days! Lots of activity around this crazy studio!

I hope you enjoy the music and the loving banter between myself, and someone who has become a mainstay and star of LosTiteres.TV, the multi-talented Enrique Teves.

Love and Happy Holiday Wishes,
Santa Loro
Host and Charlatan, LosTiteres.TV

Acting from an Hispanic P.O.V. with Ronaldo & Eli

Outrageous Oglers and Peeping Toms who watch this small comedic travesty that we call a webisode series -- once again you'll wonder today, how it's all done. I wonder myself, even though I produce this thing! The show's special guest today is Eli Eagle, who came to us as a young, eager, doe-eyed, virgin actor from Hollywood, and left us a "man".

South Beach -- the sex, the glamour -- will do that to ya.

Anyone who faces Ronaldo, gets "South Beach man" points... I don't know how they do it, Ronaldo can destroy people as much as he can lift them up! And they line up for BLOCKS to be on his show to seek out his lame advice!

I will not judge the advice he gives actors, but let's just say a certain parrot who has acting aspirations would be first caught dead, than do what this guy says... much less, let him grab my tail feathers, or get me drunk.

I'm moulting, so I'm particularly curmudgeonly today. BAAAAK!...

I'm excited though, because Eli did several sketches on the show, and joined a new actress in a new webisode series centered around a fella I met walking around South Beach. People call him: NAKED BOB! ...


He just stands around dispensing astrological advice to the beach, to people who pass by, and oftentimes to the palm trees. I have to admit that Susan, our other *Guest Star*, looked positively lovely in her bikini!

Eli not only looked chipper and recently hatched, he was a great interview guest. Although... he said a little more than he should have about his relationship offscreen with Susan!


And then, of course, Susan, who overheard, taped an interview segment with me, and that's when the drama starts flying! She had heard everything Eli said -- and what's worse -- everything I said!


I don't know what's going on with these Latina women! --First Conchita is batting frying pans at me, and now this one literally beats me up, smacks me! Just because I insinuated on the air that she was my "ho"...

How Eli ALSO got action from Conchita is beyond me. Probably the drinks he got her, after he learned Mojitos are her weakness from Ronaldo!


I mean, really.... It's a show! I have to drum up the Drama!

Eli's really helping out with his crazy comments and his sexual prowess! ... And I'm a male bird too, you know, and I believe I'm what is called in Miami a "Pimp-Player" (pronounced: Playyyyaaaahhh)... I have appearances to upkeep, yo.

From now on, Dear Reader, I will call you: Yo.

Until we actually start paying people to humiliate themselves on LosTiteres.TV, I have to admit that I've been baffled by how many young actors want to appear on the show! Some of them actually have careers! Most are completely Loony Tunes:

Behind closed doors, Susan pulled a GUN on me! Not only did she want to be in the show, she wants union wages! I told her to go f*ck herself, and she shot me in the wing! ... I hope she doesn't read this.

Diós Mio -- I may not be able to fly ever again.

But typing's fine.

Good luck watching this next batch! More Eli and Susan coming soon! Remember to subscribe to this blog, and you won't miss a moment, yo!

BAAAAAAK!

Saludos to all the South Beach Birds!
Señor Loro
Host & Producer (*Pimp)
LosTiteres.TV

EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO... A New Puppet Telenovela!

Do you eat bird seeds while you savor hour after hour of your favorite soap opera? Because if you're into General Hospital, or Guiding Light, or if you've ever wondered about the Days of Our Lives -- have we got a sexy treat for you!

LosTiteres.TV is getting underway with a much anticipated TELENOVELA of seismic proportions! Not until now has there been a puppet soap opera on the internet, much less one that smells like Tacos and Salsa!

Yes, my friends, Conchita and Ronaldo have put aside their differences to tolerate each other's breathing long enough to shoot the first webisode of this scandalous new soap opera. Yes, you'll see more crying here than a week with Paris Hilton at L.A. County Jail, more screaming than rehab with Linsay Lohan, and enough self righteousness to last you until the next episode of TYRA.

Telenovelas have never seen a love this plastic! Puppet stars Conchita and Ronaldo, two Latinos from LosTiteres.TV, debut this exciting telenovela webisode.

Gasping, clawing and mugging for a Daytime Emmy or a Webby, these "Pactors" (*puppet actors) employ fearless acting, spontaneous eruptions, and a Latina puppet on the verge of a foam breakdown!

Not since Lily Tomlin in I HEART HUCKABEES on YouTube have you seen such madness! Let the salsa music swell, their marriage crumble and the tears flow freely!

Saludos!
Feathers to My Fans --
El Señor Loro
The Decider