Mario Mariposa: In-Depth Gay Maracas Interview

Mis amigos and my friends, there is journalism, and then there is the deeply penetrating analysis, brought to you by an insect that used to be a lowly make-up artist at the studios, but who is now one of our top reporters. Mario Mariposa is created a deeply respected name for himself.

Many of you have written in talking smack about us not being liberal enough about our outlook, that we HATE Fidel Castro, because he still has many years ahead of him in politics. To that, I say PAPI-COCK. Notice the spelling. I'm naughty. But I really meant, "Poppycock"... I'm so Americanized... So we decided to be socially liberal instead:

Two gay maracas are the ultimate in open mindedness, and notice how LosTiteres.TV delicately traces the edges of taste and forbidden love with this in-depth interview of two illegal musical instruments.

It's too forbidden -- you have to see it for yourself!

PAPI COCK!
Señor Loro
Independent Candidate
in this Year's Puppet Elections

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 5)

From all of us at LosTiteres.TV...

We wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!



Saludos from South Beach!

Señor Loro ... and Enrique

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 4)

There's nothing like an irate parrot and a nutty pianist during the holiday season -- and that is what we get when we mix my temper with Enrique's sarcastic wit. We might make up, as this is the holiday season, but we won't find out until Part 5!

Señor Loro Holiday Special (Part 3)

There's something heartwarming about nesting in a Christmas tree. The familiar notes of Christmas tunes can warm us up... But in this interview I'm all all about immigrant issues. Revealing my past with Fidel Castro, I tell all about my defection to the United States -- and the fact that my plumes go great with the nuanced art deco of South Beach is only a plus.

Señor Loro's Holiday Special (Part 2)

You won't believe to what extremes this red bird will go to in order to get Hollywood to pay attention! Yes, I'm back and I'm self-congratulating light years ahead of Hollywood Awards season!

Señor Loro's Holiday Special (Part 1)

Dear Holiday Hooligans...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Once again it is, I, the wacky bird with a fowl mouth and outraged temper. I'm here to calm my tail feathers down for once, and deliver a show that everyone will love. You remember specials like this one here from the times when you used to watch on TV growing up.

Remember when we'd get those classic moments of a famous host on TV, back "in the day", he (Kermit) or she (Carol Burnett) would sit by the fireplace with a guest star hugging a piano and play Christmas songs and trade rememberances about the past year? Well that is what this show is about ... And it all goes so fast, I tell you.

This year I'm in an elated mood, thanks to the success of this outrageous webisode series I created. I feel fluffed up enough, and centered on the stick in my birdcage enough to wish everyone a Merry Christmas -- and also to share a little of the holiday fun we've been having here at LosTiteres.TV!

For the past month, although not posting shows, we've been hard at work, with our beaks to the grindstone, cranking them out. You can expect a bunch of new sketches and segments with new and exciting characters, all scheduled to appear next year... which is only in a few days!

A taste of that savory goodness is here, with the gossipy celebrity goings on in Hollywood (and elsewhere) soon to be reported by our own social butterfly, Mario Mariposa. Mario is a terrific judge of celebrity character.

How's that, you ask? Simple: butterflies taste with their legs. And Mario has a penchant for landing on celebrity noses, and then running over to tells us what he's tasted. Many times it's not newsworthy, but sometimes it is. Yes, Britney tastes like train wreck, and Obama tastes like Oprah. But would you have guessed that Tom Cruise tastes like straight guy? Aston Kutcher like old lady, and Angelina Jolie like Nimibia? ... Maybe you would...

In this, his first webisode, Mario teams up with Conchita, and tries to land on her nose. Surprisingly, there's a big problem with that -- but I'll let you watch!... Next up Mario interviews a couple of Gay Maracas that frequently play with our band. Yes, much of the music you hear on LosTiteres.TV has their percussive stylings behind it...

Now be on the lookout, because my holiday special will be posed in this blog every day consecutively, every day for the next 5 days! Lots of activity around this crazy studio!

I hope you enjoy the music and the loving banter between myself, and someone who has become a mainstay and star of LosTiteres.TV, the multi-talented Enrique Teves.

Love and Happy Holiday Wishes,
Santa Loro
Host and Charlatan, LosTiteres.TV

The Conchita Show: It's All An Act!

Dear Amigos and confused internet readers who stumbled upon this laughable mess by mistake! It is I, once more, your favorite Loro -- here to introduce to you our next exciting webisode of LosTiteres.TV!

Conchita is a multitalented performer, as I'm sure you've seen. So far, she has appeared in her own woman's issues series, THE CONCHITA SHOW, as well as the saucy internet telenovela, EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO, and most recently a guest starring role making out with Eli on NAKED BOB... Conchita gets around.

Last week, Conchita barged into my office followed by a private band of about four musicians. She force-sang several songs to me before I could get a word in edge-wise. She tap-danced on my desk, she did triple pirrouettes on the carpet, and finally landed in a perfect cheerleader-like split in front of her startled musicians!... And then she let out a little fart, but I barely heard it.

Ultimately, she showed me that she's got the chops to be a singer, and the legs to do a split. So I asked her right then and there if she'd like to do a musical number on her CONCHITA SHOW?

She tilted her head and smiled at me, delighted that her plan had worked. Then she complimented me on how welll arranged my feathers look today, and I was delighted, and totally bought the ass-kissing.


Then, having gotten up, I mentioned I knew model/actor Vincent De Paul from the movies HAIRSPRAY and DREAMGIRLS, who might be interested in showing off his crooning on her show! Agog, Conchita's eyes flipped back in her head and she collapsed with a THUD!

So, it is a particular pleasure to present to you an episode that Conchita and I actually didn't fight about, but which, in fact, made her faint with delight!

In it, she sings a wonderful new song, entitled: "It's All An Act" ... We were hoping to get Stephen Sondheim to write the melody, but he flat out told us to MERRILY ROLL ALONG...

Vincent did want to perform in the show, and asked to work with Conchita by name, because he somehow finds her foamy skin attractive. After the shoot, Vincent confessed that he felt awkward about being referred to by Conchita as a "Doll Man" in the song, but that he'd suffer for his art.

To which I asked, "What art?"

Poor Vincent is under the false impression that there is some kind of artwork going on at LosTiteres.TV, when this is all just time-wasting schlock.

I fully acknowledge that this show is dreadfully insane -- and it is a slight use of the word to even call this show "entertainment". Okay, it's "webertainment", which I've just coined, and means it's useless and meaningless, but please watch it!

Gracias for clicking, and I hope you enjoy the song, the bitches and the Spanish fly. (*Watch and you'll see what I mean.)

Bueno, my friends, until next time, this is your favorite Cuban parrot saying:

"If Musica be the food of Amor, TOCA!!!"

Besitos en el Piquito
(Kisses on the Beak),
Mister Loro
Upscale Poultry, Musical Producer,
Host of LosTiteres.TV