Naked Bob, Fortuneteller

I met Naked Bob on a recent trip to the Bahamas where I saw him trying to sell coconuts to the natives. I just sat up in the palm tree and observed, laughing and shaking off my moulting feathers. Once those old ladies slapped him around and left, and he shook the sand from his eyes, I flew down to see if he was alright... And he was. Totally alright and average: You know, regular white guy trying to be a hippy in the 2000's, that sort of thing... Good luck.

He told me that he "knew my future", and "thanks for the concern". Immediately enthralled, I asked of him what was in store for this humble red parrot trying to create his own variety show on the web -- and he said he knew!

He knows, in fact, right now. But he won't say, otherwise it will mess up the space-time continuum -- but he assures me it's good! What he did reveal was that if I found him a nickel or a quarter, I would have better luck still!

I did him one better, I gave him his own show on my website! He was very excited about that. When he asked me how much it pays, I said, "About as much as you can fit into your pockets..."

Naked Bob laughed out loud so much that he coughed up a loogie. It was then that we truly bonded, when I flew up to his shoulder and sat there as he smoked himself a doobie on the beach, his balls hangin' out in plain view. I'm surprised they're never attacked by pelicans.

These days, my cameras follow him around as he meanders around the beaches, dispensing his visions of the future to wanderers by and seagulls who get visually caught up in the styling he's given his pubes.

I love Naked Bob. Because for all his nakedness, he's extremely vulnerable. So if you see him on the beach, be kind to him, maybe give him a dollar because you're human, and you can... BAAAAAKKKKK! ...

He once prophesied that LosTiteres.TV would become a show on network television! Now, that his segment has been added to the show, I believe he may be right... I can see that too -- so am I also psychic? .... Sí! ... Cubans are all psychic!

Naked Bob is a dude, who although calm and cool on the surface, is highly insecure. He's one of those lovable misfits that wanders beaches telling people their fortunes and showing his schlong. Witness the latest offering from LosTiteres.TV, and get your future read by a man who knows the naked truth. Guest Stars: Susan Artigas & Eli Eagle.

So, take a toke, get your cerveza or your Mojito ready, and strike up the bong -- lean back and enjoy the pubic stylings of:

Naked Bob.

Best to Y'Mama,
Señor Loro
Host/Traveling Parrot
LosTiteres.TV

Acting from an Hispanic P.O.V. with Ronaldo & Eli

Outrageous Oglers and Peeping Toms who watch this small comedic travesty that we call a webisode series -- once again you'll wonder today, how it's all done. I wonder myself, even though I produce this thing! The show's special guest today is Eli Eagle, who came to us as a young, eager, doe-eyed, virgin actor from Hollywood, and left us a "man".

South Beach -- the sex, the glamour -- will do that to ya.

Anyone who faces Ronaldo, gets "South Beach man" points... I don't know how they do it, Ronaldo can destroy people as much as he can lift them up! And they line up for BLOCKS to be on his show to seek out his lame advice!

I will not judge the advice he gives actors, but let's just say a certain parrot who has acting aspirations would be first caught dead, than do what this guy says... much less, let him grab my tail feathers, or get me drunk.

I'm moulting, so I'm particularly curmudgeonly today. BAAAAK!...

I'm excited though, because Eli did several sketches on the show, and joined a new actress in a new webisode series centered around a fella I met walking around South Beach. People call him: NAKED BOB! ...


He just stands around dispensing astrological advice to the beach, to people who pass by, and oftentimes to the palm trees. I have to admit that Susan, our other *Guest Star*, looked positively lovely in her bikini!

Eli not only looked chipper and recently hatched, he was a great interview guest. Although... he said a little more than he should have about his relationship offscreen with Susan!


And then, of course, Susan, who overheard, taped an interview segment with me, and that's when the drama starts flying! She had heard everything Eli said -- and what's worse -- everything I said!


I don't know what's going on with these Latina women! --First Conchita is batting frying pans at me, and now this one literally beats me up, smacks me! Just because I insinuated on the air that she was my "ho"...

How Eli ALSO got action from Conchita is beyond me. Probably the drinks he got her, after he learned Mojitos are her weakness from Ronaldo!


I mean, really.... It's a show! I have to drum up the Drama!

Eli's really helping out with his crazy comments and his sexual prowess! ... And I'm a male bird too, you know, and I believe I'm what is called in Miami a "Pimp-Player" (pronounced: Playyyyaaaahhh)... I have appearances to upkeep, yo.

From now on, Dear Reader, I will call you: Yo.

Until we actually start paying people to humiliate themselves on LosTiteres.TV, I have to admit that I've been baffled by how many young actors want to appear on the show! Some of them actually have careers! Most are completely Loony Tunes:

Behind closed doors, Susan pulled a GUN on me! Not only did she want to be in the show, she wants union wages! I told her to go f*ck herself, and she shot me in the wing! ... I hope she doesn't read this.

Diós Mio -- I may not be able to fly ever again.

But typing's fine.

Good luck watching this next batch! More Eli and Susan coming soon! Remember to subscribe to this blog, and you won't miss a moment, yo!

BAAAAAAK!

Saludos to all the South Beach Birds!
Señor Loro
Host & Producer (*Pimp)
LosTiteres.TV

EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO... A New Puppet Telenovela!

Do you eat bird seeds while you savor hour after hour of your favorite soap opera? Because if you're into General Hospital, or Guiding Light, or if you've ever wondered about the Days of Our Lives -- have we got a sexy treat for you!

LosTiteres.TV is getting underway with a much anticipated TELENOVELA of seismic proportions! Not until now has there been a puppet soap opera on the internet, much less one that smells like Tacos and Salsa!

Yes, my friends, Conchita and Ronaldo have put aside their differences to tolerate each other's breathing long enough to shoot the first webisode of this scandalous new soap opera. Yes, you'll see more crying here than a week with Paris Hilton at L.A. County Jail, more screaming than rehab with Linsay Lohan, and enough self righteousness to last you until the next episode of TYRA.

Telenovelas have never seen a love this plastic! Puppet stars Conchita and Ronaldo, two Latinos from LosTiteres.TV, debut this exciting telenovela webisode.

Gasping, clawing and mugging for a Daytime Emmy or a Webby, these "Pactors" (*puppet actors) employ fearless acting, spontaneous eruptions, and a Latina puppet on the verge of a foam breakdown!

Not since Lily Tomlin in I HEART HUCKABEES on YouTube have you seen such madness! Let the salsa music swell, their marriage crumble and the tears flow freely!

Saludos!
Feathers to My Fans --
El Señor Loro
The Decider

Acting From An Hispanic P.O.V with RONALDO!

Saludos Everyone, and thanks for reading the blog today!

If you've ever wanted an acting lesson, but don't know who the best coaches are, look no further. Teaching from an His-Panic point of view, our actor and acting coach, RONALDO (CONCHITA's husband), debuts his brand new show on our blog!

He may be eccentric and a little Cuban-crazy, but boy will be get a rise out of you and if you're not ready, scare you the hell out of show business!

BAAAAK! Sorry, I'm moulting and I tend to squawk more.

Happy Acting!
El Señor Loro
Cuban Parrot Extrordinaire

Latino Puppets Talkin' Smack

Hola Amigos,

I have been spending more time in the LosTiteres.TV studios than Paris Hilton will ever spend in jail.

I feel revitalized as a Latino and as a parrot, who is a recent arrival from Cuba, and now is living the American dream. Success has made me a little bi... Coastal.

Bi-coastal. Bilingual. And I'm a Buy-sexual. You buy me somethin', I'm sexual.



I'm always having to fly back and forth to Hollywood, and New York. Becoming a major celebrity is a real arm workout you, know? Yeah, I'm gonna go there: My wings are tired from all that flying. Baaaaaahcckkkhgkh!

Sometimes I do that... Anyway, please enjoy the new episodes up on our MySpace pagina -- that's "page" in Spanish, for those of you who know how to salsa...

There's a secret stash of stuff that I haven't put up on YouTube or MySpace.

You can find our new secret stuff by clickety-clicking around our LosTiteres.TV site, or going to Revver.com.

Enjoy our productions, I find them tiresome.

Hasta Luego, con una lata de Prego!
Señor Loro
Host/Producer, LosTiteres.TV
www.lostiteres.tv

MARY JUANA WIT DA 420

With Conchita back on board, making Mother's Day madness on LosTiteres.TV -- every one of the puppets that wanted to act with us decided to go full throttle. And that includes Mary Juana. Although she had a bumpy ride this time, I think she'll get more used to the production crew. I told her to memorize her lines, but she can barely walk and talk. Here she is in her very important debut performance (which was never entered in that competition she told me she sould be on time for): Mary Juana.

Think of her as the embodiment of the cannabis plant. That's how she came to meet me. I was talking to some friends while perched on a palm tree, and someone was planting her down below. I've seen her grown up into full on foliage. I'm fascinated as to what kind of show she'll turn up. I call her a "she", but she's also a "he"... Being a plant, she's a bit of a hermaphrodite, so don't try to figure her out:

420 is cop code for weed bust. Let's hope she's always free to grow, and never gets deported. Why, one day, she might even be legalized!

CONCHITA'S MOTHER'S DAY CONFESSION

There are things you didn't know about this celebrity, that she will now confess: