EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO... A New Puppet Telenovela!

Do you eat bird seeds while you savor hour after hour of your favorite soap opera? Because if you're into General Hospital, or Guiding Light, or if you've ever wondered about the Days of Our Lives -- have we got a sexy treat for you!

LosTiteres.TV is getting underway with a much anticipated TELENOVELA of seismic proportions! Not until now has there been a puppet soap opera on the internet, much less one that smells like Tacos and Salsa!

Yes, my friends, Conchita and Ronaldo have put aside their differences to tolerate each other's breathing long enough to shoot the first webisode of this scandalous new soap opera. Yes, you'll see more crying here than a week with Paris Hilton at L.A. County Jail, more screaming than rehab with Linsay Lohan, and enough self righteousness to last you until the next episode of TYRA.

Telenovelas have never seen a love this plastic! Puppet stars Conchita and Ronaldo, two Latinos from LosTiteres.TV, debut this exciting telenovela webisode.

Gasping, clawing and mugging for a Daytime Emmy or a Webby, these "Pactors" (*puppet actors) employ fearless acting, spontaneous eruptions, and a Latina puppet on the verge of a foam breakdown!

Not since Lily Tomlin in I HEART HUCKABEES on YouTube have you seen such madness! Let the salsa music swell, their marriage crumble and the tears flow freely!

Saludos!
Feathers to My Fans --
El Señor Loro
The Decider

Acting From An Hispanic P.O.V with RONALDO!

Saludos Everyone, and thanks for reading the blog today!

If you've ever wanted an acting lesson, but don't know who the best coaches are, look no further. Teaching from an His-Panic point of view, our actor and acting coach, RONALDO (CONCHITA's husband), debuts his brand new show on our blog!

He may be eccentric and a little Cuban-crazy, but boy will be get a rise out of you and if you're not ready, scare you the hell out of show business!

BAAAAK! Sorry, I'm moulting and I tend to squawk more.

Happy Acting!
El Señor Loro
Cuban Parrot Extrordinaire

Latino Puppets Talkin' Smack

Hola Amigos,

I have been spending more time in the LosTiteres.TV studios than Paris Hilton will ever spend in jail.

I feel revitalized as a Latino and as a parrot, who is a recent arrival from Cuba, and now is living the American dream. Success has made me a little bi... Coastal.

Bi-coastal. Bilingual. And I'm a Buy-sexual. You buy me somethin', I'm sexual.



I'm always having to fly back and forth to Hollywood, and New York. Becoming a major celebrity is a real arm workout you, know? Yeah, I'm gonna go there: My wings are tired from all that flying. Baaaaaahcckkkhgkh!

Sometimes I do that... Anyway, please enjoy the new episodes up on our MySpace pagina -- that's "page" in Spanish, for those of you who know how to salsa...

There's a secret stash of stuff that I haven't put up on YouTube or MySpace.

You can find our new secret stuff by clickety-clicking around our LosTiteres.TV site, or going to Revver.com.

Enjoy our productions, I find them tiresome.

Hasta Luego, con una lata de Prego!
Señor Loro
Host/Producer, LosTiteres.TV
www.lostiteres.tv

MARY JUANA WIT DA 420

With Conchita back on board, making Mother's Day madness on LosTiteres.TV -- every one of the puppets that wanted to act with us decided to go full throttle. And that includes Mary Juana. Although she had a bumpy ride this time, I think she'll get more used to the production crew. I told her to memorize her lines, but she can barely walk and talk. Here she is in her very important debut performance (which was never entered in that competition she told me she sould be on time for): Mary Juana.

Think of her as the embodiment of the cannabis plant. That's how she came to meet me. I was talking to some friends while perched on a palm tree, and someone was planting her down below. I've seen her grown up into full on foliage. I'm fascinated as to what kind of show she'll turn up. I call her a "she", but she's also a "he"... Being a plant, she's a bit of a hermaphrodite, so don't try to figure her out:

420 is cop code for weed bust. Let's hope she's always free to grow, and never gets deported. Why, one day, she might even be legalized!

CONCHITA'S MOTHER'S DAY CONFESSION

There are things you didn't know about this celebrity, that she will now confess:

WEBISODES and NEW ACTORS ON THE WAY!

Well, with Conchita walking out on me, I had a terrible time getting everyone together to shoot more of everyone's favorite webisode series, LosTiteres.TV!

But lo and behold, our executive producer conjured up puppeteer, Andrew Moore, who has his own series on the web called DISEMBODIED ANIMAL HEAD THEATRE... I'm a little worried about the content, so I'm scared to watch it myself, but he's very good I hear.

Plus, we finally got a real, honest to goodness cinematographer (Ivan Corona -- his last name means CROWN in Spanish!) It also means imported beer... I have been crying about this since the beginning of this operation: to get a cinematographer and now, FINALLY. Maybe soon I'll get A/C in my office. I mean, who wants to do this silly show, if my beak is badly lit in profile? Nobody.

But actors did do live tapings of the show! The sexy Susan Artigas made an appearance, and was the first guest to officially smack me across the beak!... Did I look too much at her set of TETAS?

I think we'll have her back. Make sure to look for her doing a sketch with Naked Bob -- who got a horrible sunburn, and now his balls look like cherries.

Eli Eagle came by and did some great massage work with Conchita, had his acting skill challenged on one of Ronaldo's brilliant shows and I, Señor Loro, interviewed him. Man, what a set of abs! South Beach flesh is on display in upcoming LosTiteres.TV webisodes, my little chickidees.

Keep looking out for our webisodes! Checking regularly! We'll be here! BAAAAK!

Love and Mambo,
Señor Loro
Producer, Head Bird
LosTiteres.TV

CONCHITA BITCH SLAPPED ME!

Tu sabes -- you know -- usually I would arrive at my blog or start the show with plenty of cheer and excitement, something like; WELCOME TO LOS TITERES! Pero this time, I'm sad to say things are going bananas over here! Well, as many of you know, I interview the guests that are on the different webisode segments. As a matter of fact, here is a picture/link to the first part of the interview, which started me on the spiral towards trouble! Click on the picture below, and then watch Part 2 on the LosTiteres.TV site! You'll see:

It turns out that when I asked Enrique, Conchita's life coach about her, the information that he revealed about her struggling marriage -- well, it pissed her off. So, she CAME AT ME, my friends, with claws so large I could see them through those yellow satin gloves she has on all the time. There's no pissed off woman, like a crazy Latina bitch! She SLAPPED me, and yelled at me in Spanish spoken so fast, that I was hard-pressed to understand it. And it's my first language.

Oh, but that's not all -- apparently Mary Juana is gearing up to post the first episode of her new show where she talks all about being a cannabis plant. It's called "Mary Juana wit' da 420", because she wants to sounds urban, we all know she's really a Jew, raised and home grown by some Guatemalan in the Everglades. Whatever. Apparently, 420 is "cop code" for cannabis. Pot. Weed. Maui-Wowie. Reefer. You get the picture.


So she came to me ALL RILED UP, talking about the fact that she wants to enter her webisode in a contest on this one place on the web called Revver.com! They’re having some “green contest” next month. You enter a webisode about something “green”. She feels she’s a shoo-in, I don’t know why…

I do know that she must have been on some speed or cocaine or something because she was totally acting normal. Usually, her eyes are bloodshot, and she's kind of down. But today she was perky as a nipple on the chest of a male adolescent Cuban getting told he gets a night alone to do what he will with half-Cuban Cameron Diaz. Perky.

So I said, "Mi amorrrrr, don't you worry about that. We are posting our webisodes on Revver.com anyway! So go off and create that thing you call a show, and bring it back to me, okay? ... Um, can I -- can I eat a chunk of your hair? I'm really stressed out right now. Yeah, no not the green part, the little red hairs? Great. Yeah."

An hour later I was really relaxed. So I took to wandering around, following these strange colored balls I was seeing in front of me, and happened upon the NEWS & WEATHER GUYS, you know, Ponch and Jimmy. And I took my camera, and kind of shot some stuff they were talking about. Something weird is going on with those two. It's like they're gay, but they both have wives. About the only thing they don't do is have sex together!

So, after this, I went and wrote an apology letter to Conchita: "My dearest, quieridisima, Conchita... I'm sorry I had you arrested when you slapped me. I promise I will drop all charges on the condition that you return to the show. We miss you very much! I hope you do not get molested while you're there or become anyone's bitch... Well, knowing you, you probably have a harem of your own bitches by now. Mucho Amor, Señor Loro."

I think she'll be back...

Well, I do feel better, mis amigos... Wanna feel better about your own pathetic lives? ... Well you don't live in South Beach like me, do you? Then get a taste of fabulousness by clicking around our site, and check out my brand new interviews. They got me in trouble, but it was well worth it.

BAAAAAAAKKK!

Sorry, I'm a bird, I do that sometimes.

Señor Loro
Producer/Host
LosTiteres.tv