Listen you guys, this marijuana plant came into my life in a very strange way, which I tell in the feature film version of my story, so don't think for a minute that I'm going to reveal the origins of this plant come to life anytime soon! At least not without a book deal.
But what I do have to agree with is the fact that there is nothing more to do than love her. Please do not breathe una palabra of this to Conchita, because she would have me spayed and neutered -- but if you actually go to the YouTube ratings -- well, let's just say she gets downloaded more times than Conchita at the restroom of her favorite Miami bar: El Coo-Chie Coo-Chie Bar & Grill.
But here I have brought in an expert actor, Frank Lawson, to guest star, and play some guy named "Henry" I made up, and all of a sudden, she's confusing everything in her haze of crazy. And you may blame me and call me a charlatan, an internet P.T. Barnum of Puppetry, if you will. You might say that my show is funded by whatever scraps and coins I find thrown away from Miami homeless people.
I have cobbled this show together out of -- well, it would gross you out to tell you. Suffice it to say that as a bird, you'll make a nest out of band-aids and poo... It's true... Here I'm putting on your precious computer screen, which you only use to watch important pornographic content, with this utter nonsense.
I really apologize. But maybe if you toke it up before you watch, you'll get something out of it. After the closing credits, there's my parrot version of an "Easter Egg"... or maybe it's just me coming to terms with doom.
Well, my friends I am awkward and sort of proud to present to you, one of our biggest downloaded characters, who has grown up green with only water and fertilizer from my very own dung... Here's the redheaded girl that begs to be legalized... You know 'er. She's the most downloaded.
Señor Loro,
Parrot Producer & Hipmeister
P.S. We are looking for a sponsor. Conchita wants it to be Chiquita Bananas, and I like it, but I wonder if that's too "on the nose".
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