@LosTiteresTV Nominated in the Non-Human Category en los SHORTY AWARDS!

Nominate @LosTiteresTV para un social media award 
en los Shorty Awards

I am very excited, along with all of Los Titeres to be nominated during awards season!

Here is our latest viral video. And by viral, I mean that it may make you sick... With laughter.

For me, Awards Season is the perfect excuse to go onstage when I win, looking dapper in my tuxedo and make out with my male creative collaborators, pretending that it is just the excitement of the moment. That's really what we're there for: to release pent up homosexual feelings not allowed at any other ceremony.

As a preamble, there's always a lot of press & publicity that mines the very core of your artistic self. 

That's the next portion of my entry today: a little Q & A with the good people at the Shorty Awards:

SHORTY INTERVIEW Con @LosTiteresTV

Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?

Yes. It has inspired me to understand that social media stuff with a bird at its center is a recipe for success!

How long can you go without a tweet?

As a parrot: about 45 minutes, and then I have to either tweet, chirp or ask for a cracker.

What inspires you to tweet?

Other birds.

What's the funniest celebrity tweet you saw in this past year?

Adam Levine ‏@adamlevine 6 Nov 12, in response to Mitt Romney losing the election: "That's what happens when you fuck with Sesame Street."

How do you use Twitter in your professional life?

To bastardize a quote from Stephen Colbert, "I catch hypocrites in the headlights of my comedy."

What was the funniest trend you've seen?

Drunk Baby.

What's the wildest experience you've had via social media?

Sexting with Big Bird.

What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?

It's fun... Hell, no, it's another addictive job, like Facebook, that doesn't pay me.

What feature should Twitter add?

10 more characters. Who thought up 140? Round that shit out to 150.

Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?

Alf, the alien.

Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?

No. We welcome all sorts.

Instagram, Vine or GIF?

Instagram

Which family member do you wish was on Facebook? Which do you wish wasn't on Facebook?

ON: My mother... OFF: My cousin from Cuba who posts inappropriate gay stuff on my wall.

What is the weirdest or most inappropriate place you've ever made a social media post from?

Walt Disney's former toilet at Disney Studios in Burbank, California.

How do you make your tweets unique?

My tweets are inherently unique because I am a bird, and our tweets are better than anyone's.

Why should people follow you?

Because I'm like the Pied Piper of Puppets.

Why should we vote for you?

Because I'm fake and made out of plastic, yet I'm more real than any politician out there.

What question are we not asking here that we should?

How can we fullfill every dream you have?

What will the world be like 10 years from now?

I will have produced LosTiteres.TV on YouTube, been a huge hit, and then sold it to the highest bidding studio.

How much time you spend online?

That's like asking how much time till Betty White croaks... Who knows?

What will the internet be like in 50 years?

We will access it though the Bluetooth Chip implanted in our brains.

In what ways do you waste the most time on social media?

Entering contests.

How will the world change in the next year?

I will produce a crowdfunding campaign to get dough for a blinking eye mechanism. Consequently the world will be much clearer.

How has social media improved your life?

It has given us a platform to address our audience w/out having to deal w/development hell while hoping our show gets produced by network TV!

What's your best tweet?

LosTiteres.TV has more Global Outreach Potential than The Muppets, who're banned in Saudi Arabia 'cause it stars a Pig!

What's the most memorable Snapchat you've ever received?

Never received one.

What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?

Comemierda. (Shit-eater in Spanish.)

Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?

Albert Brooks.

How do you imagine Twitter changing?

I imagine it adding Video Tweets.

Who's your role model on social media?

The Muppets.

Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?

@ToddLeiberman, producer of the Muppets Movies.

What are six things you could never do without?

1. Laughter 2. Comedy 3. Funny 4. Hilarity 5. Guffaws 6. Giggles

140 characters of advice for a new user?

Write original material, or at least rewrite old quotes with new words like "twerk", "selfie", and "phablet", then pass them off as yours.

What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?

Follow us.

Why'd you start tweeting?

Because I am a parrot, and before I learned how to talk, it was all the rage with my peers.

As a parent, coach, or role model tell us: How do you use social media to help others focus on all that is good in their lives? Don't forget to submit a nomination for the #KeepGoodGoing award!

We focus on being funny. Laughter is the best medicine.

How do you decide what to tweet?

I try to say things that will shock those who think of puppets only for children's entertainment.

Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?

No Strings USA ‏ @nostringsusa

Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?

#LosTIiteresTV

Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?

Weed Porn ‏ @BudPictures

Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?

#Ping-PongBalls, #LosTiteres.TVonSNL, #LorneMichaelsLovesMe, #LosTiteresonComedyCentral

How do you pronounce GIF?

Because I'm Latino: The G like the letter H in English. The I like "ee" in "tweet". SO: "Heeeeef"

What's the most annoying social media trend?

Duck lips.

What are some big Twitter faux pas?

Tweeting a selfie of your Twat.

Twitter or Facebook?

Twitter

Ever get called out for tweeting too much?

Yes, in the nest of my childhood, by my mother.

What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?

Certainly because our diverse cast boasts a talking hermaphrodite marijuana puppet, we are followed by Stoner Chicks™ ‏ @FemaleStoners.

---

LEARN MORE ABOUT LOSTITERES.TV

Biography

Started in 2007 with an entire cast of Latino characters and an edgy, satirical, sometimes political, snarky college humor, this puppet webisode variety show stars: parrot & host Señor Loro. LosTiteres.TV (or "ThePuppets.TV" in Spanish) showcases comedy from a Latino POV. Sesame Street visual imagery and style meets Muppet Show-like mayhem with an His-Panic twist. Plus, THE First PUPPET TELENOVELA EVER!

How do you or your organization use social media? What makes your use unique?

Señor Loro, puppet host and social networker of the show tweets backstage gossip, oftentimes confronting social news of the day with jpeg memes, such as our last one where we informed the Duck Dynasty guys that ironically "duck" in Spanish is dirty slang for gay. Skewering as many hot topics as possible from his unique POV, our tweets are out to stomp on hypocrisy & hate con biting ha-ha-hilarity.

OUR BEST WORK ON SOCIAL MEDIA

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=embeMuaixQI
• http://youtu.be/IhP4pVfjEug
• http://youtu.be/z_RjnaHxfpM
• https://twitter.com/LosTiteresTV/status/413776011889606658/photo/1
• http://youtu.be/LNvJPXTRajA

Muchas Gracias Por Su Support 

From My Palm Tree Nest Bungalow @ LosTiteres.TV Studios 

~ Señor Loro

Sesame Estree Audition & Felíz Año Nuevo!

Happy New Year and welcome to our latest failed attempt at stardom. Look, I don't want to say we're poor, but we haven't eaten in seven years. It's a good thing we're puppets and don't have to.

Yet, in order to place some dough in our coffers, we worked as Santa's Little Helpers this year, which was a delight. 

I almost got an eyeball plucked out of my head by a toddler, but no matter, if all goes well, I hope to go in for eye surgery this year. I have developed a desperate need to blink.

What makes it worse is that they tell me dreaming is free!

As it turns out, I spotted somewhere that the classic children's series Sesame Estree, as it is called by Latinos, was holding auditions. Probably Mario Mariposa sent me the link, because he's a social butterfly, who delights in spamming everyone with his e-mail.

Good news is we managed to get Conchita out of getting more surgery (she was thinking of going in for an overhaul), and pulled her into the studio for a quick interview/audition. 

There are even titeres in the new audition video from a new Steampunk series we're developing called AssClown and Titmouse.

Whaaaaat-ever.... It's raw... Let's see your series...? I'm sorry, I'm edgy... I don't know if you know any birds, but that's how we roll... We're neurotic balls of feather.

Chirping about Birds, we got pissed off at Duck Dynasty for talking smack about grey people and had to have our say about it.

Look, we're all adults here. Take that as you will. Certain people on Twitter wrote to us saying, we're stupid, because what duck means in Spanish doesn't matter. I don't think it's that it matters, as much as it is ironic.

In a couple of years, no one will care about heterosexist comments and such, because we'll all be happier. I'll tell you why: Because there's great excitement en el aire about the fact that Netflix is like the new television. We want to put our show on there to stream to the Universe. Or maybe Hulu, YouTube, Booboo, YooHoo or any one if those baby noise named websites.

Oye, if we didn't dream BIG, we wouldn't be in this business of making YouTube videos.

But our collective Titere dream is to have our own comedy-variety show on TV, and now it seems more possible than ever.

Mostly, because you don't have to have a network approve a damn thing. Amazon will stream any freakin' thing. 

First, it's all about budget to produce the initial 22 episodes. I know I've been talking about doing this Crowdfunding thing, and I'm gonna do it. Sure -- I mean, how much can we lose? 

Everything. Some people have told us that if our Kickstarter campaign fails, it will stay on there forever as a sad reminder of how your project ate it, because you didn't make your goal.

I say, we're down so low on the totem pole, we can only win by losing. Having a website hold onto information about us is our great honor. 

We need someone to document our failures online, simply because there will be plenty of people who will be glad to document our success.

Sesame Estree was a dream of ours too, we thought. I mean, I'm a parrot, all I know how to do is repeat... 

So the more I thought about it, the more I realized how to take what appeared to be this loss.

Mira ~ I took everyone into our small conference room, with all our show-running three by five cards on the walls and our promo poster and all the good stuff. I had them all sit down and quiet down.

There was an air of sadness in the room. 

"I can't help but wonder if they're not ready for leechy Latino characters on the show... Is it what I said about Oscar? I thought that was statement of fact! ..." yelled out Ronaldo, as Conchita clutched his arm.

"Ay, please, don't worry about this everyone! I've been rejected more than a million times, and that's just by my own organs," shrilled Conchita.

"Okay, quiet down. Silencio!" I said.

When everyone seemed to look at me angrily for yelling, I took the moment to say this:

"Now, yo se ~ que you all had a dream of living on Sesame Estree." There were rumblings.

"Yo se que Alfonso, you were looking forward to burrowing in the walls, and Naked Bob, you were thinking of shacking up with Oscar. Mary Juana however, would have to be ousted from the group if we moved there!"

The room sucked up air, and from the distance, Mary Juana uttered a Valley-accented": "Oh, naauuughhhh..."

"Did anyone ever think about that? We're edgy and unconventional! ... We're not monsters and fairies, we're drugs and dragons!"

The Cat chimed up: "Oh, Dear, I fear you mean we're Dungeons & Dragons."

"No! That's another franchise! We're LosTiteres! We're the Latino gang of puppets that talks about stuff in Late Nite TV, we're not for the kiddies. That's just not our format, you see? ... So there's no need to feel sad. We cleaned it up for these guys! ... We didn't even cast Mary Juana in the audition video!"

Mary Juana goes: "Oh, naauuughhhh..."

"And I mean no disrespect to our newly legalized Cannabis plant, but you get my meaning! ... Conchita, you couldn't talk about your affairs, or your plastic surgeries on a kid show."

"Oh, really?' she back-talked, "They would be in for a big surprise."

"And that's exactly what they don't want, but what I do want! Because this is the age of the Internet! Of offending people to get their attention! Of standing in a room full of people who would much rather ignore each other by watching Us on their cellphones than talking amongst each other... Mis amigos, these are the Best of Times for our endeavor!"

"I hope I don't get deported," said Mario out of nowhere. Everyone stared and rumbled.

"So, I want you to get out there and keep on making those Lame Latino Videos, and one day, people will watch, and we'll make our own Viral Video, so viral that people will have to get inoculated!"

Schmedley raised his hand: "What's inoculated? ... Does that have to do with the Spanish for ass, 'culo'?"

"No, Schmedley, never mind... The point is, we've got a meeting with our producer, Felix Pire in about five minutes about getting more money for the budget."

Conchita snapped: "I hope you're not going to spend it on making your eyes blink when the rest of us look like shit!"

"I'm getting everyone a meeting with the Puppet Doctor, Russ Walko!"

Everyone CHEERED! ... 

"That's it ~ meeting over, no more sulking over Sesame Estree! We've got bigger fish to fry."

Said the fish: "Hey, wait a minute!"

"Just kidding, Harold," I said weakly, and closed the door to the conference room. A few feathers fell off me as I shivered at the thought of having to deal with everyone. I opened up a drawer where I hide a flask of whiskey, when the phone rang. 

I'd like to tell you it was Justin Beiber offering up to guest star on our show, or Jason Gordon Levitt saying he wants to direct the movie version of our show, but it was our producer calling me to write this blog mierdero. 

I have been typing on an iPad with my wings for a week, it's impossible. 

So I told him he should get me voice dictation software, and he laughed in my face. Well, directly in my face! -- Over Skype. 

My eyes are plastered open, so the smack of the full weight of his sarcasm really stung.

I wish I'd recorded it so you could see how smug he was. Producers are so full of themselves, you'd think they were curing disease. Which if you count laughter as medicine, I suppose that counts.

"Felix, I said, I'm working my tail feathers off trying to produce an audition for Sesame Estree, and now you want me to write a blog? A Blog?"

"Yes, Your Blog," He responded.

"My Blog?"

"That's right. And by the way, the show is not called 'Estree', it's Street! Like "calle" en Español! That's probably why the real show passed on you guys, and why I'm stuck in this eternal attempt to get you on Netflix. I got you on YouTube. Trust me."

I said: "Trust you? That's how producers say 'F-U' in Hollywood... You know what? One of these days, I'm going to get tired of this crap and I'm going to end this show and move outta here. And disband everybody."

And what a sarcastic a-hole... You know what he said to me?

"Maybe you should move to Sesame Estree?"

The door to the conference room opened and who walks in holding his cellphone in front of his face? So vain... Felix, the executive producer (and as far as I'm concerned) 'head of the network'  himself. 

I hang up the Skype call on the Commodore 64, connected to which is the old style rotary phone handle I'm holding, and just stare at him -- because I have no option.

If I had an option, a good eye roll would come in handy right about now.

These are the times that having no expression comes in handy, though, and moreover, is the preferable choice. 

I just looked at him, frozen, like a member of that closet full of toys with E.T. ... People hate that...

In the end, he placated me.

I'm a Titere, so I fell for it, and everything's back to normal.

And yet living the life if an artist, I ask myself: Normal?... Que es?

One day internet auditionees, tomorrow stars of Internet TV!

May the Parrot of Happiness Foretell Good Fortune for You.

Tu Amigo,

Señor Loro

Cotorro Productor de LosTiteres.TV 

Señor Loro Interviews Star Wars Characters @ WONDERCON ~ May the 4th Be With You!

While at WONDERCON 2013 this year, I had the wonderful opportunity of finding myself with the coolest creatures from the STAR WARS universe that you ever did see...

And now I am bringing them to you here!

Check out my Interviews with:

The Littlest StormTrooper and a shady X-Wing Fighter...

A Redheaded R2-D2!

An EWOK reveals answers about their eating habits!

Thanks for joining us!

May the 4th Be With You!

Señor Loro

Jedi Master, 

Yoda's 3rd Cousin (once removed)

Happy National Day of Puppetry from LosTiteres.TV

Hola mis amigos, I'm so sorry that I haven't written recently, but Happy National Day of Puppetry!

We are all vacationing in Mars, and it is very crowded and my hot glue is melting. Everyone's impossible, and someone's already told us not to drink the water, it's polluted. We can, though, they said, if we can find it -- there's no water on Mars...

So here I am, typing this on my iPhone as I vacation inside an air bubble at the molten lava pool. It's claustrophobic, but delightful.

So much has gone down that basically, I have had no time to even blink. Well, I haven't blinked since I was constructed in 2007 and the sleepless nights are starting to get to me.

Unfortunately being a puppet, the heath care sucks. There's no union at LosTiteres.TV. It's pay your own way at the Puppet Builder's... So I got to thinking about this whole crowd funding idea. Sure, we only have three people who follow this blog. But, hey, maybe that'll grow!

I try to be as positive thinking as I can, because frankly, otherwise, my brain would explode from never being able to sleep, or at least signal my ire to someone with a mere narrowing of my eye lids. Can't be done.

Kickstarter & Indiegogo is where it's at and soon you see my campaign. I dream of RAISING ENOUGH MONEY TO BLINK.

In the meantime, I've been producing up a storm with many exciting guests!

You won't believe some of the superheroes, sci-fi robots, and characters I met at a recent comic book convention in California, called Wondercon!

I was terrified by a sassy WOVERINE!



You like ADVENTURETIME on Nick?

 

Or how about Tranny Wonder Women...?


And there's more to come!...

Yours in Manipulation,
Señor Loro

Señor Loro's Stand-Up Extravaganza ~ Valentine's Day Edition

Laugh, Love, Sex it UP! ~ Señor Loro's Valentine's Extravaganza comes home to roost in the YOO-HOO ROOM @FlappersComedy CLUB in Burbank on FEBRUARY 10th, 2013 at 9PM! ~ Hot Models Included! 

Scheduled to whisper sweet nothings: Joe Dosch, Steve Sobel, Fox Michaels, Jeremy Scippio!

FACEBOOK INVITE

https://www.facebook.com/events/526005157440484

Mortimer Weasel’s Post-Christmas Holiday Specials

Why, hello, I'm Mortimer weasel, and this is my "Holiday Special" Blog report!

Here you have my latest videos:

A 2-PART HOLIDAY SPECIAL, including my personal memories, a puppet show, some singing, and a wrap-up/round-up of all the funny and interesting Christmas Holiday Memes around the web this year!



And finally, I reluctantly submit to you a BLOOPERS REEL... Please don't hate me for it, I just like working with professionals and have no time for unnecessary frivolity and/or laughter on the set!



This year, Señor Loro asked me to come out of my hole and do something special, something Christmas Season-y and literary and worth reading for his supposed “backstage” blog.

I have so much in store for you! 

First a HOLIDAY PRESENT!

Señor Loro at LosTiteres.TV thought he'd act like the cheap uncle this year and give you a hug; it's one size fits all and refundable. 

Then I thought about all our creative friends and that everyone is gifted ~ except some people never open their package. 

So I got crafty (I'm very good at origami and things that necesitate nimble fingers) and we made you a ... A DOWNLOADABLE, SPECIAL, ONE OF A KIND, COLLECTIBLE ORNAMENT from LosTiteres.TV! ... 

De Nada and Feliz Navidad!

Just print it out and cut it out, and paste it together! 

I’ve assembled ming using my bodily fluids as a gluing agent and my claws for the origami -- it's a work of art so original, it hardly has anything in common with itself.

When finished and hanging on the holiday tree, its sensibilities combine the soothing charm of John Denver, somehow coupled with the awkward, cheap sarcasm of a bad sketch on Saturday Night Live.

Print out the .pdf file above (the one below's just a .jpeg image), so you can see what it really looks like, pimped out.

More than likely, I’ve created something here worth making into a trending Twitter link? 

Let's call it: "Your Low-Hanging Latino Holiday Tree Ball" ~ that might get it a notice? 

I have high hopes for these CHRISTMAS SPECIALS! Let's hope they become videos so virulently viral, that even bacteria will watch it on YouTube! I wanna leave "Gangnam Style" dance craze, and the cute babies laughing, and the kid drugged up from the dentist in the car -- all of them -- I wanna leave them in the dust!

Meanwhile, here's how it all came about: The BACKSTAGE STORY...

God knows there is no formal backstage at the LosTiteres.TV Studios, because if you really put all these puppets in one backstage greenroom, it would at once turn into a fiesta, then a circus, and finally we’d entertain ourselves to death.

Instead, everyone's formulated their miniature offices within the confines of this giant, magical studio Señor Loro has created. 

If you ask me, I think he's into the Cuban Santería, and he's had some magic man bewitch the place, for inside Conchita's Trailer, or Ronaldo's Office, or Schmedley's Giant Playroom, all sorted out in clever ways inside of a giant soundstage ... it's always much larger inside their dwellings than it appears on the outside.

I really don’t know what Señor Loro reports in his blog outside of the strange happenings in his own psyche, but I thought I'd paint a broader picture... 

Most of the time there are people walking around the outside of the studio, real people, dying to get in to see a show. They're also trying to be guest stars on the show. You wouldn't believe it, but the market is inundated with human actors!

They all want to be on a spot and work with Los Titeres, they say... But they're too famous, Señor Loro says. When Angelina Jolie begged last week to be on with Brad, just for an online ratings boost, when Leonardo DiCaprio begged to do a couple of song and dance numbers with Schmedley, and when Lady Gaga called about a duet with Conchita ~ Loro turned them all down.

"I don't want no famous, name actors with all the desperate, rich financiers that want to finance everything they want! WE are the ones that are famous just like this, with no money! ... We want fresh, recognizable faces, like the ex-con that you saw in the paper, or the old lady who works as your maid!" and then Señor Loro, unexpectedly gets an itch under his wing and spends a good 15 minutes scratching.

And I'm standing right there. It's as if his mind just "blipped", short circuited. I have to agree with the assertion that birds come from dinosaurs and all that -- they also have an attention span just north of a knat.

I’ve never actually read Señor Loro's blog, but I’m sure it’s fascinating, with anecdotes about his early childhood, learning to squawk... and pecking his way out of an egg.

When I think of things coming out of eggs, I honestly think of brunch. 

 All my weasel instincts notwithstanding, “A wrap-up”, I suggested to the red parrot, as I burst into his private office, which is fashioned like a wooden parrot cage, lots of brown colors, books, one of those old sepia globes, plus an old typewriter.

 “I propose a series where we do a little countdown of all our YouTube Holiday Videos!” I announce.

He looks up at me from his perch at a desk, from under his bifocals. Those giant ping pong eyes roll up at me: “That assumes they have some value.”

“I think ours are terrible webisodes, but if forced, and for some payment, I wouldn’t mind making a 2-PART HOLIDAY SPECIAL, plus a BLOOPER REEL, and then writing your blog for you and putting the horrid videos you do have in some kind of comprehensive order,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

See, the bird is an innate contrarian. Anything you say, he’ll find a "Cuban saying" that justifies why he should be against it.

“What kind of payment?”, he says into the air, as he looks over some graphs & papers, with his monocle on.

“How about two dead rats and a garden snake?”

“Did you come in here to break my huevos?,” he rolls his eyes and his monocle drops. He shudders, like birds do, and a few feathers fly off and spin around in the warm light coming in through the windows... It's actually a stage light with a yellowish gel behind his fake window inside the soundstage.

He starts moving towards me and I reflexively step back.

“Fine! … Money then! Give me that grubby paper money!... Disgusting that I have to touch it. Write me a check.”

“Seventy-five cents for a blog entry, maybe I can get you a dead jelly fish and a ticket to the: Get The Hell Outta My Officina Express?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” and I immediately weaseled myself outta there... 

Passed several “titeres” in the hallway that knew I’d been in that office. They offered me some faux sympathy in their eyes... 

Yet I can’t be sure of that, because their eyes reflect light in all sorts of odd ways, given the fact that they’re made of plastic, and sometimes they're just wall eyed or cross eyed for no reason.

THE THIRD SEASON OF OUR MESS

With the coming of the HOLIDAY SEASON, Señor Loro took it upon himself to declare that we have now entered SEASON TRES online! … 

I have researched carefully how many webisodes it takes to make a season, and there’s no given standard, so I’ll be forced to believe him, he knows how to count his eggs. 

During the holiday season one should strive to see the best in others, although by his accounting for our webisode show, I can tell one certain thing: 

We will be falling off our own personal LosTiteres.TV "fiscal cliff"... 

But, Señor Loro is like the The Honey Badger, he don't give a shit! He owns a summer nest on the Fiscal Cliff.

In Señor Loro I see one of the best entrepreneurs I’ve known since I met Joan Rivers, when I got my face done and wanted a plastic surgeon who could do justice to the face of a weasel. 

Like Joan, my dear Señor Loro’s one of those artists that keeps on performing live shows, never takes no for an answer, and given the chance, would sell you a shitload of merchandise on QVC. 

Here he is in what he called Señor Loro’s Holiday Fandango... 

(You’ll find out about how "down" the economy is ending up in 2012 at the end of the webisode.)




Señor Loro will show up to the opening of an envelope, as long as he considers that envelope being opened by a great artist. 

Grant Baccioco is such an artist, and being invited to be on his yearly Advent Calendar was the highlight of Señor Loro’s year. 

 Most of the year, that red parrot spent moulting... so by the time he shot this, his feathers had grown back. 

With patches of feathers missing here and there and that crazy eyed look he gets in his eyes when he’s moulting, he reminded me of a young Woody Allen.

Grant's Advent Calendar 2011 Video Podcast -- Day #007



Alfonso is one of our resident rodents, and we don’t want to say he’s a deadbeat dad, but let’s just say he hasn’t paid for child support since 1985. 

I don’t know, but I suppose studying law like he did, he must have found loopholes in the law to get him out of those scrapes.

Let’s face it, Alornso may be tough on the outside, but down deep, he’s a romantic and a lover. 

One of my favorite videos of the past few years, is one that shows Alfonso’s heart. This one he made especially for his wife, or ex-wife, or ex-wives, and kids.

 Alfonso's Christmas Message to Martha & The Kids



Alfonso ended up moving into the building and then slowly found himself working as an attorney for Señor Loro, who is very proud of it. 

When I’ve asked Loro about it, he’s always said, “Who better to be your lawyer than a dirty rat?... This guy’s a dirty rat with a heart,” he intoned. I can only hope he’s right.

At the start of another winter season, another intro sequence was shot with Señor Loro hosting and talking about his past life under Fidel Castro’s rule as his own, personal pet parrot. 

 I, for one, was raised in New York, New England, New Delhi, New Orleans. 

Only places that are new, because I have an unending curiosity for novelty, and that’s why I am part of this show with Latino puppets. 

Because they’re unique and rare on screen, although there’s enough of them that they decided the last election. The irony of that baffles the mind.

If you’re wondering how Latino I am, I will confess to you that my mother is Chilean and my father is from Guatemala. 

How I turned up with a semi-British, upper class accent is purely from non-stop watching of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard on Star Trek. 

 Enough about me, I present to you, another Christmas moment from the opening monologue segment of our show. By the way, in it, that image of Fidel Castro is nude, not naked.

 Season's Greetings with Señor Loro & Alfonso.



Finally, not too long ago, we ranged up enough “titeres” and puppeteers (which is what we call our ‘tech crew’, they come in handy) to create a holiday song. 

We wanted it to reflect our snarky feelings about this time of year, all the while with a touch of buoyancy and class. I was not asked to be in this thing, although I support it whole heartedly.

I mean, I shouldn’t get personal about these things, but really, I’m a cast member here. 

Only common decency should dictate that I, at least, get the “first right of refusal”. 

But no... That’s because Señor Loro refuses to make this a union business!

If we were being looked over by the Screen Actor’s Guild (SAG) or the American Federation of Radio and Television Artists (AFTRA), none of these shenanigans would be going down! 

… I DEMAND TO BE NOTICED and NON-TRADITIONALLY CAST! 

Why must I always play a middle-aged “stuffy” weasel? 

I can get down in the dirt like the best of weasels... 

You know, I’m sorry... There’s no need to have gone into that tirade simply to show you a silly YouTube video. 

Here's wishing you and yours many "dead rats and snakes" in your stockings as you wish and a Merry Holiday season, as well as a Happy New Year!

"HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS" - LosTiteres.TV Puppet Christmas

 

Warmest Regards 
from The Underground Sanctuary of,
Mortimer Weasel 
Peabody Award Winning Reporter 
Oscar Nominee for Best Documentary: 
“The Mating Habits of The Nocturnal Australian Weasel”