Alfonso's Legalize Grey Marriage Ad

Really, mis amigos, I generally don't like to get too political on the show. But I suppose this issue of marriage is really affecting us all.

Alfonso Ratberg Boca Raton Gonzalez is one of the newest additions to the LosTiteres.TV family. Little did we know that not only was he openly grey, but also a lawyer! Now, with a plea to the American people, Alfonso raises his voice to promote the legalization of grey marriage.

For many years grey people have been held back from having the same rights as everyone else. This new viral infomercial video will reveal the benefits of grey marriage to a lawyer. Namely: Grey Divorce.

THE MORTIMER WEASEL SHOW

Mortimer the Weasel, deeply voiced, concerned weasel who interviews famous holiday figures. This exciting episode: The Easter Bunny. Won a Peabody Award last year for his explosive documentary on the mating rituals of the New Guinea weasel, during the making of which, he was briefly arrested... Highly upper crust, probing, opinionated; Mortimer uncovers the bunny behind Easter with the finesse and buoyancy of the impetuous and perfectionist star personality he is... Enjoy the first time you meet the incomparable Mister Mortimer the Weasel and his first interviewee ever, The Inimitable... Easter Bunny.

Señor Loro Auditions a New Puppet

My Dear friends,

I know you guys are trying to be kind when you send new puppets my way. I know you're trying to see variety and exciting new faces on the show -- but sometimes the people you send my way are questionable at best.

This guy came in and said his name is Crystaal Corona, which is strange enough, but then he proceeded to tell me what his talents are, and that's where he lost me.

This is the last time I trust Mario Mariposa to send me talent.

Señor Loro
Exasperated & Confused

"HERE COME THE HOLIDAYS" - The LosTiteres.TV Holiday Song

"Conchita's Shout Outs" & Schmedley Part 2

Hello, mis amigos and welcome back to the show! Thanks for waiting for a month.

This month we're going to pack in some great programming.

As far as the production, things are going as planned. We planned that no one would be watching...

We also planned that this show would never be canceled because it's produced with the nickles and dimes that the producer steals from the water fountain in front of Macy's at the mall.

Sure enough, though, we're probably doing something to offend someone in people-land. I should amend that -- not "We", but Conchita, who is always saying something Snarky.

Don't mind her, she's like our Perez Hilton, except skankier and with more felt.



I know you avid viewers, non-existent as you may be -- you all must be anxious to see the latest Schmedley webisode.

Here it is: the second part of the Schmedley Schparky Schow where he finally let's that silly dog have his say...

As Fidel Castro's former pet parrot, I worry about Schmedley's dictatorial leanings -- but I'm going with it for now, because, he's young and has time to change his ways, but more importantly because his chocolate company is a Cash Cow.



Saludos to Sesame Street on its 40th birthday!

I, myself, am very interested in one day getting an opportunity to interview Big Bird.

I want the exclusive on what disquieting magic caused him to stay 6 years old forever -- always acting like he just learned the alphabet yesterday.

I mean, he's 40, he should have a job... I'm only 38, and I produce this freaky show.

These child stars always come out of the shell a little cracked, enh?

Happy Martinis!
Señor Loro
LosTiteres.TV Studios
(Blogging from the Port-o-Potty
behind the gay club "TWIST",
South Beach, Florida)

The Schmedley Schparky Schow!

Hello my quieridos amigos!

We have come back for a second season of excitement, and laughter on LosTiteres.TV.

Since the downturn in the economy, the show's been in the toilet.

That's why you've waited so long for a webisode? Our producer, Felix Pire, who produces this crap out of pocket, because he says, "he believes in the show" has been out of work.

It's a cheap show to produce. I sold it to him one brisk Miami evening over drinks. I said, "With just nickels and dimes, we give you entertainment that's at least worth about three pesos in Mexico." And he was sold. It's true.

More to the point, puppet productions are cheap, that's how come one sole producer can fund us. Plus, Conchita is getting cheaper. She tried to get into Telemundo, they told her she "wasn't Latina enough".

Look, it's economic savvy on your part as a viewer to watch our mess, because you're getting more wasting of time entertainment, with something that costs less. Let's just put it this way, we've been able to amuse you with the internet budget equivalent of close ups of hand shadows on toilet paper.

So we're very excited to present a new segment to the show, with a new sponsor!

Please enjoy, as I, Señor Loro and LosTiteres.TV proudly present:



Are you surprised that we auspiciously return on the first day of October, one year exactly since 2008?

Are you mesmerized by my ping pong ball eyes, and want more?

Not to worry, LosTiteres.TV will be coming out bi-weekly. Why? Because we like to say "bi". It's naughty.

In a coupla weeks, brace yourself: Conchita returns with a new species of her Conchita Chow -- this time, she's giving ironic shout-outs to people.

Also, we've got more Mary Juana, a new guy we just hired -- yellow guy from another one of those weird puppet nebulas, and more El Amor De Conchita Y Ronaldo, your favorite telenovela.

We hope you like this new season. Ever since Schmedley started to pitch in coin from his schocolate company, the webisodes have gotten better, but we worry he'll want to put ads for his schocolates everywhere.

These are the preoccupations of a web producing parrot, my dear, sexy audience!

Stay Tuned for more:

LosTiteres.TV!

Signed,
Señor Loro
Parrot Producer & Host

Hola Again, Happy Halloween, and Adios to Hispanic Heratige Month!

You scared yet this Halloween? Get ready 'cause: we're back!

Naw, really, though -- we're back.

None of those small pitch reels, or silly PSAs.

The stuff you've been demanding: More websiodes of EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO, more NAKED BOB, and more MARIJUANA.

And for those of you who know the show, you are all very addicted.

Stop sending me Harry Potter owls with little envelopes that yell at me when I open them!

Real webisodes are forthcoming. Like the old stuff you used to like with Conchita and Ronaldo insulting the dignity off each other, and some other new junk.

Of course, in this opening sequence, we feature Schmeldey Schparky, a new addition to the show! He's so wealthy from his chocolate empire, he could get us out of our economic crunch right now if he felt like it. But he's twelve, has one of those pre-teenager "asshol-itudes".

Luckily, in exchange for infomercial airtime, has sponsored most of our other webisodes. And, of course, we've sold out to him... He doesn't read, thank God, or I would never write this.

He owns Schmedley Schparky Schocolates, and along with his dog Scrappy, he serves up his own brand of fatty, chocolatey (slightly nutty) goodness. You just can't WAIT for his show, I assure you.


Be on the lookout for his new webisodes with his dog Scrappy!

Watching shows on television (which is where we know ours will end up, I'm sure), we noticed that there were a lot of shows with an opening theme songs -- and puppets LOVE theme songs.

Now, we've had one for a while, but this time we decided to produce the entire musical number with everyone involved! It was madness in the studio. Those two Gay Maracas act like crazy monkeys, and Conchita is impossible when she's had a few drinks, and the mouthwash in hers and everyone else's dressing room.

In this very musical sequence, she's drunk out of her mind. Schmedley had to hold her by the arm to keep her on screen. Right after that shot, she threw up all over the camera man. Too bad we didn't get a shot of that.

So expect another season of puppet melodrama, outrageous language and openly gay mayhem! No, wait, you can see that in this very opening number!

Most of you are petrified right now, knowing that the ridiculous show with the cussing puppets and the outrageous backstage dish is back, and it is, mis amigos, it is!

Nothing has terrified us more than leaving our fans in the dust -- and then kicking them in the privates repeatedly with each passing month of no LosTiteres.TV.

And that is why we're back with more, to stop the crotch-kicking. We're back with: BIGGER, BETTER, felt-ier EXTRAVAGANZAS of puppets and dazzling 1960's we-can-still-see-a-halo-of-green-or-blue chromakey!

Please remember to read the credits at the end, so you can see what a wide variety of wonderful artists contributed to the building and performing of the show!

We have also mailed a SPECIAL THANKS, a MOJITO and a FREE (at your own risk) *BLOW JOB CERTIFICATE* from Conchita to our friends at:

Swazzle.com & ProjectPuppet.com for their continued support!

Pretty soon we will grant them honorary Latino-hood.

BOO...with Love,
Señor Loro
Parrot Host, LosTiteres.TV

*(BLOW JOB CERTFICATE - certain restrictions may apply.)