Hola and Saludos mis amigos! And welcome to
the first webisode of our very exciting new Spanglish
series on LosTiteres.TV!
So glad you could come along with us on a comedy journey that's going to span the globe and tickle your Universe. My name is Senor Loro, and I'll be your Latin parrot host, okay?! I promise not to squawk or ask you for a cracker! There will be none of those stereotypes on THIS show!
I hatched originally in the lovely island of Cuba, but I emigrated here last year when the revolution tried not to make me repeat promises they made us a few
years ago. What was it? Oh yes, Fidel promised: breakfast lunch and dinner.
I usually sit on his shoulder, but like the island he
hijacked Cuba -- he's gotten too old to hold me up.
We used to -- and I don't think he'll mind if I tell
this -- we used to play pirate ship together. Am i
getting teary eyed? Lloroso? Veklempt? When he was in
his early 60's. He made me call him Blackbeard, and he
was just nutty -- that one.
So I said, you know, Fidel -- I gotta fly to the
states, I got a deal for a new program from an
undisclosed location in Miami, Florida! And he was
like, "No, who will play pirate with me?" And I was
like, "See ya sucka." And I flew away.
Later, in Miami, I landed on the shoulder of this
old vaudeville producer interested in variety shows.
I gave him my pitch for this show.
And he was like, "Have you hosted a show before?"
I said, "No, but I personally -- how do you say,
'dissed' Fidel Castro."
Impressed, and a rabid anti-Castro Republican himself,
he help me produce this show, although he wishes not
to be named. But you might say that his name might be
Bernie Frillstein, our generous donor and moneybags.
The funds come from an undisclosed location in Colombia,
but he threatened me with removal of my plumage if
I talk too much. Which unfortunately is my habit.
Ooops.
I've said too much. Squuuaaaawwwwkkkk!!! --
When I get nervous, those squawks come up like
the hiccups.
Por favor, my friends, forgive me.
Now, I know many of you will be interested in learning
what programations we will be offering?!
Well, stir up a Mojito, sit back and relax.
We're going to have spicy interviews with stars and
exciting new webcasts! Shows like: NAKED BOB'S ASTROLOGY
-- all the way from Venice Beach, California!
Also, confessions of an illicit hallucinogenic drug.
Our very own MARY JUANA W/DA 420.
No, but wait, there's more! You'll get the NEWS &
WEATHER WITH PONCH & JIMMY, and special reports from
MARIO MARIPOSA TASTES CELEBRITY NOSES, and the sinister,
yet goofy SCHMEDLEY SCHPARKY SHOW.
It's a Latin American extravaganza cornucopia
extrordinaire here! It's crazy, you know why? Because
it's FREE! How much do you pay? NADA! And unlike when
I was sitting on Castro's shoulder, I'm allowed to say
anything I want! And I want to say:
We'll bring you more hip-shaking and ass-grabbing than
you've seen with puppets in a long time, baby!
I'm telling you, this is going to be
Super-Sensasssssional!
Okay?... QUE?! You want MAS!
Well, sit your baby-got back rump, relax your clicking
finger!
We begin by telling you that "TITERES" in Spanish
means PUPPETS, so everything you'll see here is THE
BEST in new, up and coming LATINO PUPPET TALENT.
And some of you have found out about our first, debut
webisode launching, and have already written in
asking us to post the first episode EVER of this NEW
and EXCITING, SEXY TELENOVELA that is all the talk
around SOUTH BEACH -- Especially in palm trees I perch
on: EL AMOR DE CONCHITA Y RONALDO.
These two have so much talent that they also have their
own shows! Conchita has a talk show, and Ronaldo teaches
acting from an Hispanic Point of View. If you're an
aspiring telenovela actor, you just can't miss his tips!
It's hot, it's lusty, it's wild sexual abandonment
in Spanish!
Don't flip your tamales, keep balancing your Carmen
Miranda fruits in a basket above your head, and enjoy
the first episode of LOS TITERES.TV!
Saludos!
El Señor Loro
Host Extrordinaire
